This might be a little disgusting but again... I'm trying to remember each moment so sorry for the tasteless picture... This is day 2 of a sink full of dark hair! I just could not continue to pull out hair and see it on my shirts, pillow and everywhere else! So I called my brother Matthew today and said It's Time... Bring Your Clippers. So he did...
We were both kinda dreading the thought of cutting my hair so we visited for about 2 hours before I said to him okay lets go! He began to cut away with scissors 1st...
Here I am taking a break! My scalp is so sore to the touch that having the clippers touch my head felt like a cactus was pushing into my scalp and burning at the same time....BUT what is happening is EACH FOLLICLE is releasing and it's so tinder... Never did I think about the pain that loosing hair had. I mean ACTUAL pain hurts to the touch and just feels so not normal... Not like have a buzz cut. This chemo really changes everything!
Don't I look so Happy? I'm really full of mixed emotions! I feel relieved it's done but at the same time a part of who I am is gone. I loved having hair... It was a little bit of my identity... But it will grow back. (I keep telling myself)
Another view of my hair... Again. I had to have Matthew stop because it was so painful to cut!
This is what I will resort to... I feel a little safe this way... As if my hair is still there and I just came from working out! Sad Day... I have to admit. There are no positive thoughts this time because it is REALITY.... WED 2nd treatment hope I can do this!
11 comments:
Ooooooh Elizabeth. It made me a little teary reading your thoughts. I've been thinking about you all day since you told me you buzzed it. I remember each of the other girls buzzin their heads and it felt REAL today with you to me too. You look adorable. You're right about looking like you just came from the gym! And love your J-Lo hoops too! You don't need to have any happy thoughts today or any other day for that matter, it's not your job. That's what we are here for....it WILL grow back and it will fade to a memory. WE LOVE YOU over at the Brenay house! Tori took one look at you on your blog and said, "Oh! She looks so cute!" You have a gorgeous face and beautiful eyes (2 key ingredients to pulling off bald)!! Sleep well.
When I saw your pictures I thought about how you have a good shaped head and the perfect sized ears. And Charlene can both pull it off and still look good. I hope you are able to get rest tonight so you are strong for wednesday. talk to you and mitch tomorrow when we get Drake.
Oh honey...I know you were dreading this day. However you are beautiful! I agree with Erica beautiful face and beautiful eyes:)
I so appreciate your ability to be so raw with with what you're going through. I admire your strength.
Thank you so much for our chat last week. You are a wonderful friend and an even better example :)
I'm here for you whenever and for whatever you need. Love you.
You do look MARVELOUS, although I know you're not feeling like it these days. You have beautiful bright eyes that will stand out even more now.
Just take it one day at a time :)
Lib - I am so sorry it hurt you so bad. Who knew? I completely get the hair thing. I don't know how you did it. I can't even cut my hair short. BUT, I have to say, you look really cute. You know I would never lie to you or sugar coat it. If you didn't look cute, I just wouldn't say anything. BUT YOU DO! I know it's hard on you, but luckily you have a pretty face and big gorgeous eyes. You don't really need hair to look good. Love you lots. Call me when you're feeling good. I'd love to know about what your recon surgeon said.
Elizabeth, you ROCK the buzz cut!!! I would look like a complete dork with my "dented" head! My crown never closed when I was a baby, believe it or not, I still have a soft spot! It looks like I ran into a wall, I kid you not!
You REALLY do look great!
Elizabeth- you look beautiful. Your face is stunning! I am so sorry to hear that it hurt (something I would not have thought of either). You are really amazing and are doing such a great job!
Hi Libby. This is Melissa's sister. Hope you don't mind me stopping by, but Melissa was just looking at your blog at my house, and I just wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your words are inspiring. And like everyone else says, you can totally pull off the bald look!!
I am sure this had to be one of the toughest parts of the whole cancer thing. But you do look beautiful! Hang in there! We are praying for you!
I remember Loren at this stage. One day after our staff meeting had ended and it was just the "girls". Loren said,"Would you all mind if I took this off. I am hot. We all agreed it was fine with us. When she took off the scarf, I got up and wnet to her and just kissed her on her head.
The same for you.
Love,
Emily
You Are Beautiful!! You are in my prayers! I think about you soo much! I cry each time I read so it's hard to comment!! You are amazing! Hang in there!We Love you!
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