Thursday, July 29, 2010

9th surgery done! but boy it sure does hurt!

See I'm already complaining this one really has put me a little under. Over all I'm fine just very tender to the touch and sore all over.

Dr. Boll is amazing though (my reconstruction surgeon) She has been able to transform something that was destroyed by radiation and infection to something that looks somewhat normal. The reason I'm in so much pain is because she had to sew my implant into my rib cage. I knew that when I woke up this time from surgery it hurt 10XS worse.

(side note: I had been feeling the previous implant shift at times when caring Maya or exercising I just thought that it was normal. It always felt so weird. Did not like the feeling of it at all)

So when Dr. Boll began the surgery she saw when I was laying down the implant moved from side to side and it just didn't stay in place. She says that the implant seems to shift do to damaged radiated tissue. So she sure fixed that one.... Sewing it into my rib cage!

What miracles can be created by such intelligent caring doctors. I'm blessed, I'm blessed, I'm blessed.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I'm going to complain...Then put it in perspective

I have to admit I do complain a lot about this surgery stuff as well as taking a daily dose of tamoxifen. The surgery seems to be endless yet necessary for me to feel physically normal again... Simple things like putting deodorant under my arm might eventually feel less sore without so much skin bulked underneath...Filling out my bra so that one breast isn't bigger than the other... Plus this tamoxifen has crazy side effects! I now can say I suffer from memory loss and forgetfulness (along with other things)! Not only do I stress out about it but it is a terrible reminder that I had cancer.

So last week I was on my way to see my oncologist. All these things mentioned were on my mind and I had a little attitude! I was sitting in the waiting room just mad I had to be there. As I got called back to the room I saw a board with lots of pictures on it. I said to the nurse "oh are these all the Dr's patients?" She said "yes but lots of them have passed on". Within seconds my attitude instantly changed. I drove home very humbled and emotional. I get to have a choice to have additional surgeries so I can feel and look normal again. I get to have a choice to take tamoxifen to help add years to my life without the chance of cancer coming back. The people who have passed on might not have. With all that said, I know that I'm still here for a reason and I need to keep that in perspective.

Friday, July 23, 2010


One of our traditions for the past 16 years or so have been to be in San Diego for the 4th. Because I was just to sick last year we didn't make it. This year we decided somehow we would get to the place I love so much! S A N D I E G O....

We walked from our hotel to the pier at Seaport Village. We made it just in time for the amazing display of fireworks.

Maya wasnt a bit scared of the loud noise. She enjoyed hereself so much

What a difference a year makes... I've said it before but seriously mean it,,, Look at us now!

One of my favorite places to go is Old Town San Diego They have lots of places to eat and the best Mexican food ever! The children went into the Candy Kitchen and were speechless! I told them they could get whatever they wanted... Ethen carefully chose each piece, Drake took whatever he could get his hands on and Maya put 2 little pieces in her bag and said she was done~

We headed to Legoland for a day trip with the kids. Overcast skys and for me it was dreamy weather... We loved each moment there with the kids. They were in Heaven.

Maya with Princess Lilly

Lego land has some great hands on activities with billions on Lego's. This is a shot of Drake and Ethen building their Lego cars and racing them against other kids and getting to rebuild until they win!