Tuesday, November 25, 2008

MET WITH RECONSTURCTION SURGEON TODAY

Dont be offended with these pictures... I know it is personal but this is a good way for me to document my progress to recovery.
Here is where the lymph nodes were take from... Man it hurts! I can not lift a thing. When I do it feels like I have tingles run though out my arm and then a huge burning sensation. As you can see even with the ace bandage I am officially with 1 boob! Mixed feelings about this! On one hand I needed it gone so that I'd be cancer free and on the other hand It's sad to know my body will never be the same. No matter what kind of reconstruction is done it will never be the same... It will always be a reminder that I HAD CANCER!!! I need to get over this pitty party... I'm really having a had time today... Time to take the Valium....

This is a picture of a drain being removed. It's out! Yea! No more caring around 3 tubes pined to you with blood dripping into.. Really could turn you stomach.


I had 3 drains placed where the breast was removed. This way the excess fluid would drain out instead of absorbing in the boobless tissue and body... I can not explain how weird it felt when the drains were taken out. It felt like a long worm being pulled out of my body!


So today I've laid in bed a lot because I feel like I've been hit by a truck. So I need to stay away from my children because they do not understand and want me to hold them... I just cant. I'm so sad.. But I think to my self...."what would it be like it I could never hold them again?" This just makes me want to get this crap over with! So in a few weeks I will start having my breast tissue expaned, make plans for chemo and begin what I truly did not think would happen....Chemo!(I just grew my hair out too!) So I will just have to donate it.....


8 comments:

Danielson Family said...

My stupid computer didn't let me know about your blog updates. I'm glad you post so I can know better what's going on. Let me know when you want me to fly out. I'm still planning on coming if you want me. Did you ever get my package? I can't tell you how worried I've been. It's okay to be mad, angry, upset. I'm just glad you saved your life! Love you so much.

Curt, Charlene, Luke, Ty and Jake said...

You are doing an amazing job. It is ok to have days when you're angry, sad, or whatever. That is completely normal.

You know I am here for you. Hang in there. It will get easier, I promise!

Lonni said...

Liz- We've been anxiously checking your blog for any updates. Thank you for the pictures, the feelings, the honesty. Oh, how we wish we were there to be of some help. Just know you are in our thoughts, hearts and prayers. WE LOVE YOU!!! Hang in there,

Mom OT said...

I am glad you made it out of surgery okay. You have been in my thoughts and prayers all week! I appreciated the pics and feelings. It helps me to understand where you are at and the things you are going through. YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!!

Christine said...

Oh, Elizabeth. I am so, so sorry. Mitch just called and told me what was going on. I wish I had known sooner! I can't imagine how you are coping with everything so well. You are amazing! Both my mother and grandmother have had breast cancer. This is something I worry about often wondering who of my friends was going to get hit first or would I be the one? It's so inevitable which is why I particularly love how much you have encouraged mamo's every chance you get! But I am so umbelievably grieved right now that you have been the first of my friends to have to go through this. It hurts more than I imagined. After reading your entire blog and understanding a little of what you've been going through let me just say it again, YOU ARE AMAZING! I think you are handling this so well and are an inspiration to us all. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Hang in there. I know you are going to get through this and you are absolutely right...YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!

PS. I can't believe how much Miya has grown! What a cutie!

Christy *Clemz Clozet* said...

Anybody that takes offense to the pics on your blog does not have to read them. I think it's brave of you to share them. I'm sure it answers questions that some people are afraid to ask. I think people who read your blog,(I know I am) will be inspired by your words, thoughts, feelings and pics. You are one amazing woman and even cancer can't keep you down long. Your Heavenly Father loves you, and so does your family. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I know this sounds crazy, but your children will grow, and be blessed through your faith and will be able to cope until you can hold them again.

Melissa and Trevor said...

I have been thinking about you all weekend. I hope you are starting to not feel as much pain now. I will talk to you soon. keep staying strong and positive.

Kim Wright said...

Hi Libby-
You are my hero! Thanks for sharing your experience. As I've said before you are and will continue to be an inspiration to others. I hope that you recieved the books and found them to be helpful. I look forward to seeing you in April, but PLEASE let me know if you need me to come out there sooner. I love you dearly!