See the red stuff going in my IV? This is the potent poison~ So I just had to have a little Diet Dr. Pepper to ease the stress! The nurse is ready to give me the2nd dose of this! Terrible stuff!
Took the rest of my hair!WELL THE REALITY IS THE HAIR IS GONE.... I FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN! AS I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING THAT IS THE HARDEST PART FOR ME.... TAKING OFF MY BEE NE AND SEEING A COMPLETELY BALED HEAD IS JUST WEIRD FOR ME. I KEEP THINKING I WILL GET USE TO THIS BUT IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET... SO HERE I AM THE TRUE ME WITH CHEMO DOING IT'S THING AND LEAVING ME WITH A REMINDER EVERYDAY. I HAD MY BROTHER "BIC" IT BECAUSE HAIR WAS ALL OVER AND IT IS NOT VERY PRETTY TO SEE IT ON MY CLOTHES & PILLOW.... SO THIS IS REALITY... HOPE IT IS NOT TO HARSH TO SEE BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.....
Last weeks surgery went well. I believe I'm on the road to recovery with the expander still in place and my skin hopefully adjusting to it! I had 1 extra week to get stronger and I believe that did the trick! I began to feel a lot like myself and I knew then that was only for a few more extra days so...
2ND TREATMENT JUST FINISHED UP TODAY AROUND 2PM 5 HOURS TO COMPLETE THE ENTIRE TREATMENT... MITCH 1ST CAME WITH ME SAT AND READ ME A MAGAZINE ON FITNESS & EXERCISE THAT I SOOO MISS. ITS FUNNY WHAT THINGS YOU CRAVE WHEN YOU CAN'T DO THEM... THEN AN HOUR LATER ONE OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS CAME AND SAT BESIDE ME THE ENTIRE TIME TIL TREATMENT WAS COMPLETED. SHE TOOK ME TO LUNCH (I ACTUALLY WANTED TO EAT!) I TALKED TO HER AS IF NOTHING WAS WRONG JUST HAVING LUNCH WITH MY GIRL! WHAT A MOMENT IT WAS.... I AM SO LUCKY THAT TODAY AT LEAST I'M STRONG, FEEL LIKE EATING AND HAD A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH MY FRIEND... WHAT A SIMPLE BLESSING THAT IS... I'M TRYING TO EMBRACE EACH DAY EVEN WHEN I DO NOT FEEL LIKE PUTTING UP WITH THE CHILDREN OR EVEN TRY TO ATTEMPT CLEANING A ROOM.... THESE THINGS ARE REALITY AND I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT AT LEAST THE LORD IS GIVING ME THE STRENGTH TO DO THE BASICS!
SO AS I WAS IN THE CHEMO ROOM TODAY I LOOKED AROUND AT ALL THE OTHER PATIENTS THAT ARE RECEIVING TREATMENT FOR SOME KIND OF CANCER BATTLE. I SAID TO MY SELF...."THIS IS THE REAL WORLD" PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING" I'M NO DIFFERENT... DOES IT MAKE IT EASIER? NO. BUT IT SURE PUTS THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE!~
SO MY GOAL THIS YEAR IS TO:
LAUGH MORE
HUG MY CHILDREN MORE
NOT TO COMPLAIN THAT THINGS ARE NOT GETTING DONE FAST ENOUGH
APPRECIATE THAT I HAVE A HOME AND A HUSBAND THAT PROVIDES FOR US
TELL MY BROTHERS, SISTER, MOM & DAD THAT I APPRECIATE THEM MORE OFTEN
ENJOY ARIZONA SUNSHINE
BE THANKFUL FOR LIFE EVERYDAY
I'm writing these thoughts down so I can look back at them and use this as a reminder for myself!
During treatment today my nurse said I'm getting THE MOST POWERFUL REGIMENTS someone can get... I just said "I know I always have to do things the most intense ways" Thinking back 7 years ago TODAY I gave birth to Ethen, Just to have him was 8 years of hard work~ Surgeries, Several Failed IVF's, miscarriages one after another and then finally it worked~! So for me I feel we just don't have ONE obstacle in life there are many and this is just a few for me! So as I lay in bed today I think about many good things that have happened and know that even though this Challenge for me is TERRIBLE I'm no different than anyone else!
5 comments:
You never cease to amaze me! I know you may not feel strong, but my goodness girl, you are one of the strongest people I know. Think of all the things you've gone through in your life and have overcome. The strength you have now going through all of this and the impact and example you are to everyone around you is amazing. I don't blame you for feeling like an alien, but you really look good with no hair. LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!
Reading this just made me cry because you are the strongest and most humble person I know. You just amaze me. You really do and I know you will continue to. You are taking something so hard and making it so postive and a learning experience. Mitch stopped by our house today and gave me an update on how your day was yesterday and today. He and Trevor are taking the boys all on bike ride after church, and I hope you get a wonderful nap when they are gone! you have earned it! I will take Maya for you if your mom is not.
Hey Elizabeth - So glad that round 2 went a little better! I love the goals you set for this year -- I could adopt those as my own! You are such an inspiration and help us all to realize what's truly important in life!
I love you.
Ditto.
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