Whats it like to have a your breast removed...

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2008

MET WITH RECONSTRUCTION SURGEON TODAY

Don't be offended with these pictures... I know it is personal but this is a good way for me to document my progress to recovery.
Here is where the lymph nodes were take from... Man it hurts! I can not lift a thing. When I do it feels like I have tingles run though out my arm and then a huge burning sensation. As you can see even with the ace bandage I am officially with 1 boob! Mixed feelings about this! On one hand I needed it gone so that I'd be cancer free and on the other hand It's sad to know my body will never be the same. No matter what kind of reconstruction is done it will never be the same... It will always be a reminder that I HAD CANCER!!! I need to get over this pity party... I'm really having a hard time today... Time to take the Valium....

This is a picture of a drain being removed. It's out! Yea! No more caring around 3 tubes pined to you with blood dripping into.. Really could turn you stomach.

I had 3 drains placed where the breast was removed. This way the excess fluid would drain out instead of absorbing in the boobless tissue and body... I can not explain how weird it felt when the drains were taken out. It felt like a long worm being pulled out of my body!

So today I've laid in bed a lot because I feel like I've been hit by a truck. So I need to stay away from my children because they do not understand and want me to hold them... I just cant. I'm so sad.. But I think to my self...."what would it be like it I could never hold them again?" This just makes me want to get this crap over with! So in a few weeks I will start having my breast tissue expaned, make plans for chemo and begin what I truly did not think would happen....Chemo!(I just grew my hair out too!) So I will just have to donate it.....