Today I have much more pain than I thought. It is bringing back memories to the mastectomy I had in November. This time my doctor not only had to remove the expander but she had to cut the "dead burnt skin". So I'm feeling a little weak and sore. So what do I do now that I no longer have the reconstructed expander in me? Well it's just a wait and see. My doctor sees this being a long recovery. Radiation continues to fight cancer cells even when Radiation is done! So for me I'm up against this fight to not have anymore unexpected places in my chest wall start to separate.
If insurance will pay for this I will have the Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. This is to see if it will help my skin at all. I'm not sure yet the treatment plan except I did hear it could be everyday! (Just Lovely)
After I heal which could be 6 months or longer I will then have a muscle removed from my back shoulder blade and put into the area where they will create another breast.
Part of having a plastic surgeon come into my treatment plan was to speed up the process. Not just for me but because I have 3 children under the age of 7. Surgery after surgery was pretty overwhelming and I felt like that was to hard on the whole family. Well I'm back to the beginning and worse off than if I would have chosen to do reconstruction later. Because this time I have to have a muscle removed to complete this project. This was an option in the begining and I chose not to have it becasue of how invasive it was. Ah ...Ah... I want to SCREAM!
So with that said... Tomorrow I will hopefully have the drains removed and begin to slowly heal. On a side note (it must have looked real bad because when my doctor checked me today she said "don't look") So for now my eyes will be closed when I undress because I can not stand to see the sunken in area all the way to my chest wall. Its to hard to deal with.
On another side note while I'm complaining....I did not mention this but 5 weeks ago my husband Mitch had accident while playing baseball and shattered his tibula! I thought because I was on the road to recovery that I could handle this. Needless to say he had surgery too and now has a metal rod in his leg and is recovering right with me! Isn't this just wonderful? So for now...The house will stay messy, laundry will not be done and kids will eat cereal until I'm better.
What a positive blog tonight! don't you think?
4 years ago
7 comments:
You have every right to vent and express your frustrations. It's extremely difficult to be positive 100% of the time. I certainly had my days where I wanted to stay curled up in my bed and sleep...hoping that the nightmare would be over when I woke up.
Hang in there. It will probably be a long road to recovery, but I have had to remind myself of this too...that it is better than the alternative. You are still alive! Your kids still have their mommy!
Love ya...Charlene
Complain and bitch away!! It helps me feel better anyway. I am so sorry that this process has been the never ending road to recovery. Wish these fatty deposits we call boobs didn't even exist. We love you.
Liz, Liz, Liz... at least you are still fighting this. I know you'll have very down days--- and that's probably healthy. The kids will easily survive on cereal and you will get through this and emerge all the stronger. Just get through a day at a time and a trial at a time. You are so strong-- stronger than you know. You can do this!!!!
Holy CRAP!!!! I CANNOT believe the mess you've had to go through. This just bites! I hate that all this is happening to you. It kills me. I love you lib.
You will get through it. I know it sucks I am in the same boat. You hang in there things will work out. I've been boobless for about 1 1/2 yrs it dosen't make who you are your still the same person with or with out them.
Kids will be fine with cereal. Email me and I will come pick up laundry and get it done for you. Just let me know happy to do it!
I'm sorry things are so tough right now...I'm sure it feels like it will never be over.
You're so allowed to complain all you want--you've been so strong though out all of this.
Remember that you're loved, and remember that you have wonderful friends and family in your life that are more than willing to step in anytime you need us.
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