THE REALITY IS...

I'm doing well, when I awoke I felt like I was hit by a truck!



Dr. Boll feels like the surgery was a success! I know that from what It did look like after the sever burn from radiation that she had a lot to fix. As my good friend describes... "another chop job until she gets it perfect". But the reality is it will never be perfect. I know that but subconsciously when I take off the bandages I'm hoping for something that looks normal and it wont ever be! I shouldn't complain. I've got hair, I've got my brain back, my humor, my will to do things but when I undress, shower, and find clothes to cover up the imperfections it will always be a reminder that I had cancer and that's whats sad. So for now I'll recover again, heal and then have another surgery possibly in July. Gotta get it all done before my insurance is tired of me! :)

BUT over all I'm good. I'm use to pain and so 3 days recovering was all I needed. Back to normal with kids, work, and everything else a mom does.

Next thing on the list an MRI... I'm very positive all is well but still nervous of the unknown

Til then, Kisses

Surgery # 8

Crazy to think I've been "under the knife" 8 times since this whole Cancer Journey began. This will be a less painful surgery (I hope). I say that because no back muscle is being removed and moved to the front this time. This is called a "debulking" surgery. She is cutting the extra bulky skin out that was moved to the front from the 1st surgery. It's extra skin I don't need. It's a huge puffy area underneath my arm pit half way to the front of my breast. She is going to "round" it out some. She is also lipoing the fat under there and transferring it to areas that have caved in. (I sure wish my insurance would cover lipo in other areas! )I still describe it like a pumpkin being carved out. As a pumpkin gets old it begins to cave in. This is what has happened to me (GOTTA LOVE WHAT RADIATION DOES TO OUR SKIN). So shes trying to fix it and make it look as close to a boob as it can be. 3 hour surgery not so bad! I will post my recovery soon.

Wish me luck on Thursday!!!

Part 2 Salt Lake City Hanging With My Bro!

This is the Salt Lake Temple. Amazing site! We spent the day touring the different places on Temple Square. What a spiritual place. I was so inspired by all the history behind my religion that I felt overcome with emotion at times. The children loved meeting the many sister missionaries that were there serving. They were AMAZED at the many Book of Mormons that were written in 100's of languages. The best part of this experience was attending the Families can be forever movie. What a great thing to know that because of my faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ we as a family can be together in the eternity. With having cancer many thoughts of death went through my mind. This made me stronger in what I believe in and that in the end... Family is what really matters.

Mitch and I were definitely exhausted with 3 children in a hotel room for 5 days but it was worth it.

Here are the cousins... Abbi Ethen, Maya and Drake eating at CPK...

We went to the Aquarium in Salt Lake.The kids loved it! Not a huge place but a lot of fun! It was just enough for them to really get an idea of all the critters in the sea! Gotta love my brother Justin... My kids could not get enough of him!

Love this sweet girl Maddie! Justin and Melissa's 5 year old!

We also visited the Dinosaur Museum. Actual dinosaurs that lived in Utah were on display. We learned a lot and saw the coolest 3D movie about these huge things that lived before us! This is Maya and Ethen digging for fossils.

Abbi and Maddie taking a turn digging...

Seriously... This is gross! Justin bought Nacho flavored crickets and worms (dried) to eat in the 3D movie...

Here they are before Justin took a bite!!! Crazy Guy... Mitch looks so enthused

This is Maya and Chloe. They loved each other so much. Chloe could not get enough of Maya and Maya loved every minute of the attention.

And finally my Brother and his wife. We loved being with them. They are way to much fun and love my children like there own. We had a blast and appreciate them meeting us in SLC..

GOOD TIMES JUSTIN GOOD TIMES!

Park City Part 1 of our Trip to UTAH

Last week we left for Utah to visit the snow and hang out with my brother and his family. A nice little get away before the next surgery...The first 2 days Mitch, Me and the children hit Park City! Amazing little place~ Just a fun experience to visit some REAL snow. MAN was it cold!

The children were so exited they couldn't stop asking questions about where we were going and what we were going to do for 5 days!
First stop after arriving in Utah was the drive to Park City! Because we live in the desert Drake and Maya had not experienced snow! Drake could not wait to have a taste of the snow literally! We left 80 degree weather and 3 hours later we were in 23 degree cold!!!!

All the boys wanted to do was make Snow Angels!!!

The town is just great! It appeared to be a little "dead" maybe because of the economy but it didn't seem to keep us from just taking walks around the town.

The boys walked up to a building pulled a HUGE ice sickle off and began to sword fight! So typical of them.

As you can see my kids really don't have the appropriate clothing for snow! They didn't care... While we were eating lunch the boys just had to hang outside...

Maya even enjoyed the snow...

This is her touching the white stuff for the 1st time in her life!~

Maya's plane ride! She had her own seat! However, she sat on my lap instead.... After Park City we headed back to Salt Lake City and met up with my brother Justin his wife and children. Wonderful time...

Part 2 of the trip is on it's way.

What a wonderful time....

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO VENT!

OKAY...My husband Mitch is self-employed. We have small business insurance and with that you can imagine what my insurance payments and doctor bills have been for the last 2 years. So now we are up for renewal and can I say... our premium went up 50% because I had cancer!!! This is discrimination! I didn't ask for this! I pay a monthly premium each month not including total out of pocket costs! Now I'm stuck! No insurance will pick me up for 10 years because I was the chosen one to have this disease! I have no choice but to keep my current insurance and pay the price! This is robbery!!!! Not fare!!! I want to CRY!!!!!