I'm doing much better this week!

This is my back! It might be a little to much for ya but the REALITY is when you need a new breast this is one way they can make one. As I have said before they took muscle/fat/skin from my back and moved it to the front to make a new one... Not the best but a lot better then what I had... I have a lot of skin/blood flow under my arm which make it quite large in time it MIGHT subside you can see that at the top of the scar.

These last few weeks for me have been a bit challenging. For one thing I'm back to my schedule of driving kids, picking up kids, and the rest of Mommy things. All these things require me to use my right arm/shoulder. I never realized that tying a shoe requires me to use my shoulder blade and back! So I took up a little Yoga at home and have seen such improvement. I can actually reach to scratch the back of my head. I have had serious bed head and wearing lots of headbands.

HOWEVER I'm doing much better this week...

I don't have to take pain pills

I can lay on my back without pain

I can wipe the counters in the kitchen

I can hang up the kids clothes

I can stand for longer then 10 minutes and not feel worn out!!!

Life is good.. I just need to keep reminding myself~

Such Innocence!

Today Drake saw my long scar on my back and he said to me "Mom is that scar going to help you not get cancer again?" I said yes Drake it is! How innocent he was and so hopeful for me. Oh how my children keep me going!

2009 Christmas Rewind Finally!!!!

This past Christmas eve we got together with my brother and sisters family. We had a great time with the children and enjoyed the magic in their eyes...My sister in law read the Christmas Story. We had a gift exchange(the kids drew names) and played a few games... Too fun!!!

Me and my sis! Just Love Her So!

Maya opening up her 1st gift. Her Nannie and papa got her a pink bike!

Kids opening up presents I just loved their excitement....

Drake got a New York Yankees backpack!

We took the kids and cousins to see Alvin and the Chipmunks opening night too fun!

Everyone waiting for the movie to start. My brother Matt and his wife Denise met us there which made the night even more enjoyable.

Here are my boys and my nephew Cole making Ginger Bread Huts! I could not for the life of me make them look Magical like they do in pictures!!!!

Maya just wanting me to take a picture of her. She insisted I do!

This past year was beyond challenging. How happy I was to be able to feel healthy this Christmas Season and enjoy every moment...

Drains Drains Go Away!!!

Update for the week. Went to see the doctor this past Monday. One drain attached to my back where the skin and muscle was taken had no fluid in the drain so they told me to come in that morning and it could be removed. I get to the doctors office and she began to remove the drain and a huge gush began to come out. Apparently I had a clot and so that is why there was no drainage. She began to press on my back to get as much fluid out as she could . Can I say
"painful" she said this will have to be done everyday. So I have had to go back to the doctors office everyday to have this procedure done which is not fun and hurts sooo bad. The other drains are Still IN because I'm still collecting a lot of fluid. I am Beginning to feel a lot of the results where the muscle was removed. I feel like I've been hit with a bat! So for now it's doctor visits with a drain attached to me for a while. I'm trying to take it day by day. It is so hard to keep telling my kids "please don't climb on me I hurt!"

Quick update.. for now... Kisses...

It's All A Blurr....

When I arrived early that morning I was numb not from the cold but from what was about to happen. In my mind I was thinking is this worth it? Is it meant for me to do this? Will I ever look somewhat the same again? I calmly went into the Pre op room by myself (too early for Mitch to wake the children and get them to a sitter.) So I was by myself. Everyone in Pre op remembered me. I couldn't believe it. I had that much history with the hospital... As my Miracle Doctor walked in my heart began to beat so hard I thought I was going to throw up! She began to write all over me. First in the front and then she turned me to the back where I could feel exactly were she was going to cut... The marker began to run from my shoulder blade to the middle of my back and then it was all a Blurr... Because she is such a perfectionist she actually stopped drawing on my back and began to clean me with alcohol swabs. She said "I think I'm a cm off!" I want it to be perfect so she restarted the drawing. After she completed I laid down. IVs were in and I remember no more...I woke up the next day to this amazing view. Better in person then in the picture. I thought This is a sign. A room with a view! The sun was rising up behind the Superstition Mountains and I was overcome with happiness.

Then I was given these amazing tulip's. My favorite flower. Another feeling of happiness

I was given great news. The skin flap and muscle that was transferred took! I was in ICU for a day in a half to make sure my body wasn't rejecting the transfer. I just did great!

Now... You do not have to read any further if you think the pictures below are offensive or a little graphic. I do this for me and it helps me to remember the good the bad and the ugly.

However, this is the incision that was made on my back. The muscle was cut with fat and tissue. It was then tunneled through to the front breast area and made a "cushion" like mound to fill in the hollow chest wall. The doctor said I had such healthy muscle. I have to say that I trained my back and the muscle called the Latitsismis doiso for about 6 weeks with weights. I was hoping that would help and it paid off! I was told I have to have physical therapy but for now I have almost 70% motion so I think it will all be good! Next step is to wait and see. My breast will take time to "round out" because of the transfer and abundance of blood supply going to the new site. So now it looks just like a huge blob all the way under my arm pit. This will take time. I just have to baby my many incisions (I also had the other breast worked on to "match up" so my chest is pretty sore I have to say.

I do want everyone to know that Lord had a 100% in this. He guided me every step of the way to be able to handle the stress that I felt. The doctor was guided and had the knowledge to do what was best for me. This will not be the end of my surgeries but it is one less which was to me the most major.

Grateful for Life again... Grateful for Friends that Think of Me All The Time! I am so lucky. Lucky in every way.