I have to admit I do complain a lot about this surgery stuff as well as taking a daily dose of tamoxifen. The surgery seems to be endless yet necessary for me to feel physically normal again... Simple things like putting deodorant under my arm might eventually feel less sore without so much skin bulked underneath...Filling out my bra so that one breast isn't bigger than the other... Plus this tamoxifen has crazy side effects! I now can say I suffer from memory loss and forgetfulness (along with other things)! Not only do I stress out about it but it is a terrible reminder that I had cancer.
So last week I was on my way to see my oncologist. All these things mentioned were on my mind and I had a little attitude! I was sitting in the waiting room just mad I had to be there. As I got called back to the room I saw a board with lots of pictures on it. I said to the nurse "oh are these all the Dr's patients?" She said "yes but lots of them have passed on". Within seconds my attitude instantly changed. I drove home very humbled and emotional. I get to have a choice to have additional surgeries so I can feel and look normal again. I get to have a choice to take tamoxifen to help add years to my life without the chance of cancer coming back. The people who have passed on might not have. With all that said, I know that I'm still here for a reason and I need to keep that in perspective.
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