My 1st Year Cancerversary!

This time last year I was given the news.... "You have Cancer!" My life would never be the same again. Not only Physically but Mentally. However, I believe I beat the Beast! I can not express the bitter sweet emotions I have. Would I like to go down this road again? No! But I have to say I feel so blessed in other ways for going through this Journey. Kinda sounds weird I know but I am blessed with LIFE! I wake up in the morning and actually am happy for the day (until my kids wear me out!). I can't express how grateful I am for health and energy. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am.



Who would ever have thought I'd be so healthy to do the RACE FOR THE CURE as a survivor in Phoenix Arizona on October 11th! What A Miracle! I truly Love YOU all....

Tests Results Are In!!!

What a relief! Met with the oncologist today. All scans came out clean! No sign of CANCER in the bone, breast or surrounding areas where I had my breast removed...I will have followup scans in December. There are 2 small places on my kidneys. The size is not to concerning they just need to watch it and see if it gets any bigger. For now things look good!

I tell ya... Walking into the office today brought back such bad memories! The smell was all I could handle! Their is something about the smell of a chemo room that makes me gag!


Unfortunately I was not able to get the PET Scan because my insurance wont cover the claim. Its so expensive. My Dr feels that all the tests I have had gave him are a clear reading and for now and things seem good. Since I wasn't able to get a PET scan and they did find 2 cysts. I am thinking of going to another Oncologist for a 2Nd opinion. I think I should see if they can fight a little harder for me to have this important test...I'm kinda disappointed that my current oncologist didn't do this for me. He knows the long road I had this past year I would think he would want me to have this test done ....So I am looking into this. Its a risk I don't want to take!

The tamoxifen I take 2x's a day is just going to be a 5 year issue for me. Weight Gain, Depression, You name it! I cant risk not taking it! The other choices I was given did not out weigh these side effects so I just have to live with it!

As each day goes by I find that I'm more and more myself. How happy I am to say this! I look back and wonder how did I get through this? What a challenge I was given. I try everyday to just be happy for feeling good! It's so easy to get caught up in life and for me to be negative about so many things. I pray everyday that my new focus on life will be on just the simple enjoyable things like having energy, appreciating my husband, enjoying every minute I'm with my children .... so for now... I will take somewhat of a break get a 2ND opinion and ENJOY~

Tests, Tests and More Tests!

Never Ending!

• Mammogram: DONE

• Xray of the chest: Done

• PET SCAN: Insurance Denied! Can you believe that because I have NO SUSPICIOUS Recurrent breast cancer my insurance considers me not eligible for this very important test? Makes no sense!

• Ultrasound: Done

• CT of the Abdomen and chest: Done
  


• BONE SCAN: Done

Oncologist Appointment next week to discuss

PET SCAN ISSUE

Tamoxifen pill that I do not like!!! Can we say... Menopause!!!!

all other test results.

Results: TBA

I'm so Honored

This shirt was sent to me by my friend Blair who participated in the Race for the Cure in Washington D.C. in honor of ME!!!

A few months ago my dear friend Blair(on the left) said he wanted to participate in the RACE FOR THE CURE in support of me! I felt so honored and couldn't believe he had the energy to RAISE the money, FORM a TEAM and actually show up on a raining SUNDAY Morning and do the race! The team goal (Team Name: "Bras 4 the Cause") was to raise $1,000. They actually raised a total of $2,490! The story behind why he wanted to do the race this is so touching to me. Blair has a soft spot in my heart. I just LOVE this Guy! I just had to blog about this experience so I wont forget how this has made me feel. Thank You my sweet friends....Blair, Holly and Luis!!! I love you all.

The Hair is In and the Port is OUT!

Okay the hair is in! Not exactly the hair style I'd like to have but it will do! I've said it before I WILL NOT COMPLAIN. So here are a few things I've been enjoying while the growth of my hair is coming in...Running my fingers through my hair when I'm laying in bed, being able to put shampoo in my hair and having lots to wash!, putting sunglasses on my head and they stay! Able to use products like spray gel and a little "Curls Rock"! Fun Fun How Cool is this? Here is the scar from where the port was placed...Doesn't look to bad.

This is the port that was in my chest. The surgery was a piece of cake! Not much to it. I needed to blog about it because it was a part of me for 9 months. An everyday reminder.... Although I am grateful that I was able to have a port and not experience the painful IV's in my arm or hand. It still reminded me everyday of what I was going through... Kinda like a Love Hate Relationship. It is so small yet so powerful! The doctor gave it to Mitch... I decided I didn't need to keep it but a picture of it would be a good memory!

Life is going! I'm still seeing doctors and having tests done. But this is a GOOD thing! I will post results soon! Love each of you!

One More Thing Checked Off My List!

I SOOO have been wanting this port to be removed from my chest! It's just annoying, pokes out at times and I can not stand to touch it! So tomorrow I go into the Hospital to have it removed. It should not take long...the port is fed into my heart so that will be the only time consuming part which total time is approx 1 hour...

So another thing gone which was a constant reminder of the terrible poison fed into my veins which made me sick for months!

I will update you this weekend.

Reconstruction still on hold...

I met with Dr. Boll my Plastic Surgeon. She believes Hyper Barics Oxygen Therapy has done it's job. 20 treatments and I'm done. Happy to hear that... It was getting so old and there is only so much CSI I could watch. Anyways I thought I'd be told "what I wanted to Hear" but I wasn't. The plan after her examining me is to PUT THE EXPANDER BACK IN. My skin is so sunken in (to my chest wall) that she feels it would not at all have a nice result. Now remember I'm up against reconstruction with very little skin, and no nipple so if the result wouldn't look to nice I better do what she wants!!! I just wanted to cry... This means I wait 6 months for the radiated tissue to heal then put the expander in and wait till my skin can tolerate total reconstruction.




I have no control over this just like I had no control over this cancer.



The other day I decided to go for a run. I started thinking okay.... Why me! When I was diagnosed with cancer in October I was eating well and exercising. I don't drink and I don't smoke. BUT I still got the monster! Then a little voice said to me... you have no control over this situation. It is was it is and I now am learning what I need to learn from this experience. So reconstruction is down the road. Yes I'm sad because I want to be put back together again. But honestly I'm just happy I can get up in the morning face life and the challenges that come. I look back at how sick I was and realized that when a person is given a sickness it truly takes every bit of life out of you. Your whole existence becomes confusing and your body just shuts down to any outside life!





So today is another day of being grateful for life! I'll admit I am a hair person and would like to have a body that doesn't look cut up and actually scary looking... but in the end it really doesn't matter!



My best friend Kristen D. text me the other night and asked if I had seen "So you think you can dance" where they did a dance routine about breast cancer.... I hadn't so I found the link... I just cried and felt so much joy at the same time....What a wonderful thing
to be able express this in an amazing performance! Enjoy http://video.yahoo.com/watch/5596365/14689629








Love to everyone of you who thinks of me and gives me such encouraging words.