The CLUFF CREW....and my experience with BREAST CANCER

3 Years Ago

2012-02-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

I've been reflecting on the past 3 years and how far I have come. For example, less doctor appointments, less pain and less thoughts of how hard having breast cancer was for me. I realized that I truly can do hard things! So when I complain about the things I have to do currently in my life I go back to how hard it was for me 3 years ago and my perspective becomes so much clearer!

3 years ago: I can do hard things!

Maya Girl and her 1st Promo for Phoenix Childrens Hospital

2012-01-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

When Maya had her 1st surgery it happened to be during one of the biggest Fundraiser of the year for Phoenix Children's Hospital. It involved KTAR a local radio station that hosted a 2 day telethon. I was taking Maya for a little stroll around the hospital and was approached by a PR person from Phoenix Childrens'. She asked me all about Maya. After meeting this person I was then asked to do a radio interview http://cluffcrew.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html and share my experience with how Phoenix Children's Hospital has helped Maya.

About 8 weeks later Maya was asked to return to the Hospital to do a photo shoot. We were able to share her story with sponsors and thank those who have donated to the hospital. These donations help make it possible for children like Maya to have such great care here at Phoenix Children's ~

For February Maya was chosen to do the Thank You card Promo. I believe their is more to come of her. The photographer took pictures of her for almost an hour. With here personality... she did every pose they asked here to do.

And can you believe this was 8 weeks post op? Here hip was broken-reattached-and a plate was placed to hold it together! I will post more pictures as the PR department continues to send them.!

Maya will have another surgery in March on her right hip. But I'm very hopeful she will do great!

Love You Maya! And so does everyone else!

Fittness & Cancer: Guess Post

2012-01-03T23:28:00.000-08:00

Written by: DAVID HAAS

It stands to reasonthat someone who has been recently diagnosed any kind of cancer includingcommon cancers such as breast cancer and skin cancer and even rare cancers like mesothelioma wouldn't want tospend a lot of time exercising. The shock of having been diagnosed with anoften fatal disease combined with the sickness, pain and fatigue associatedwith said disease can all but destroy any motivation that one would have forremaining or becoming physically fit. Physical fitness is important foreverybody, even those who are suffering from cancer. Recent studies have foundthat while a regular exercise regimen is by no means a miracle mesotheliomatreatment or a cure for any other kind of cancer, it has helped aid the recovery and improved the prognosisof many cancer patients.

Two of the most common and debilitating side effects of most traditional cancertreatments are fatigue and loss of muscle strength. Cancer treatments such aschemotherapy tend to make patients feel very fatigued, so naturally they do notwant to spend a lot of time doing much of anything, let alone engage in anykind of exercise. The muscle weakness commonly experienced by cancer patientsnaturally results from this fatigue. As they are deprived of exercise, thesepatients also miss out on some of the benefits that come from being physicallyfit including improved sleep patterns, increased energy, decreased depressionand a generally improved sense of wellbeing. In other words, exercise can helpa cancer patient or cancer survivor get his or her life back.

One form of exercise that many experts suggest for cancer patients is lightweighttraining. It's already been established that many cancer treatments cause a weaknessin the muscles, so a weight-training program has proven to be very beneficialfor many patients undergoing chemotherapy or similar treatments. It is notrecommended that anyone who is experiencing fatigue or muscle weakness attemptany rigorous weight training exercises, but there are plenty of light exercisesthat can be done that will still help to build lean muscle mass and improve theoverall fitness of cancer survivors.

The American Cancer Society has become so convinced by the benefits of exercisefor cancer patients that they have implemented moderate exercise programs forpatients who have been newly diagnosed with cancer. These exercise programs cantechnically be considered palliative therapy, which means that while they willnot cure or treat the cancer directly they will at least improve the symptomsof the disease or treatment.

Giuliana Rancic talks double mastectomy: ’It was hell’

2011-12-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

Giuliana Rancic talks double mastectomy: ’It was hell’

It is hell and it sucks
and the immobility really never goes away
I feel so sorry for her
I know how she feels

But this is the reality of removing your breast and having reconstruction
it's no walk in the park! It's a long process to be put back together

The Holidays~My Children Keep Saying... It's taking forever!

2011-12-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

Random pictures of what we have been doing these past 3 weeks. We started the holiday season right after Thanksgiving by putting up the Christmas tree and lights. This is when our children become so hyper for weeks! I remember being the same exact way as a child so I try to be patient.

We went to Lego land right after my 3day in San Diego. It was all decorated for Christmas. Super Cute! All the Legos were made of Santa's, Presents and Raindeer.

We have done a few cookies and will finish up Christmas Eve. Maya is a little Betty Crocker! She is such a perfectionist! Every cookies was perfect!

This is my most favorite part of the holidays. My family receiving cards from old friends, family and neighbors. I love it!

I'm ready to relax and enjoy Christmas Day in my PJ's. Happy Holidays to all my readers! Hope it is a wonderful Christmas for you.

DAY 3 Will I Do This Again?

2011-12-06T20:25:00.001-08:00

Here I am on the home stretch. About 4 more miles to go. It was getting cold and rainy. I was tired and could not wait to finish. I just kept relating this final 4 miles to my final Chemo. Bitter Sweet. I knew it was important to finish what I started but at the same time wanted to stop right then and there! I found myself walking slower and slower. My feet began to feel hot spots which = blisters.
During those last few miles walking I thought back to the day I had my mastectomy and was told that the cancer had spread to 5 lymph nodes and that Chemo & Radiation was necessary. My whole world changed in that moment. I never thought I'd be fighting this fight 3 years later but walking 60 miles instead. NEVER SAY NEVER!

This lady was at every cheering station. Starting on the 1st day. The supporters really help keep walkers staying motivated...

In the end this experience was like no other. Words can not describe the feelings I had during those 3 days on my feet from 6am to 6pm.

Here is what I do know and will never forget!

-There were many survivors just like me! Who were there to help make a difference
-Witnessing the dedication of the walkers
-Walking with 2 great friends who I love and adore
-Walking in at the closing ceremony as a survivor and completing the 60 miles was an amazing feeling
-The other walkers cheered us on and then honored us with taking off one shoe! An incredible site to see
very emotional for me

-San Diego community support -was incredible! The amount of people taking 3 days to follow (walker stalkers) us and cheer us on as we are walking showed such dedication and made me feel so appreciated
-It is an amazing feeling to know that so many people are fighting the fight together

And now for the exciting news!

San Diego Raised over 9 million dollars for 2011

My team raised over 7,000 dollars
I personally raised over 2,600 dollars

So will I do this again?
I'm Not Sure Yet
I'll make that decision after my feet heal.

Love to all my friends!
Thank you for the donations and support

The End

DAY 2 EVEN HARDER= Slow Motion

2011-12-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

Day 2: I felt like I was in slow motion. I would say that I'm physically active. I run and lift weights but for some reason walking this many miles puts a different kind of stress on the body. For me my feet were not working to well the 2nd day but I kept moving every mile! This was the morning view from leaving camp. The walkers at Mission Bay stretched back miles! Loved this view.Here I am about 1/2 way. Made it from Mission Beach to Ocean Side. I knew I only had 10 more miles to go but it was a L O N G 10 miles for me. But again, the views and the community support kept me and my team going.

The Remembrance Tent.

Each tent represents a city where the 3 day has been this year. It was a beautiful site to see this over the bay. Very touching to and sad.

Here is our tent! That morning was cold and again I could hardly walk!

The community supporters are unbelievable! People from all over come out to support walkers. They thank each of the walkers for participating. It was a great boost to your esteem! This day we walked right by Sea World. Some of the performers at Sea World thanked us as we walked by the entrance~!

Another community supporter with her owner.

Day 2 was completed. 40 miles done! I only had 20 more miles to go!

Day3: tbc

DAY 1 20 MILES=FEET HURT SO BAD

2011-11-29T15:30:00.001-08:00

I did it! I really did it! I completed this year's 2011 Susan G. Komen 3 Day walk in San Diego. I have not had any type of shoes on except for flip flops since last Sunday

I arrived at the Opening Ceremony at 4:15 am.

When I got to the entrance. There was a tent on a table to be signed for those who have lost their lives. I walked over to the table and signed it.

The name: Sandra Simmons. I never met her. She never met me. About 1 month before the walk I needed 135$$ to meet my goal. A person donated that amount. I didn't know this person but later found out that the donor was the son of Sandra Simmons. He lost his mom a year ago and was deeply effected by this. He wanted to "give back" and so I made sure I walked for her in her honor. I signed the "remembrance tent" which will now travel throughout the United States to different cities that will display and honor those who have past away. I was so grateful for this opportunity and I will never forget it.

My sweet friend Brianne. I love this girl! She has walked so far in 3 different cities.

Dallas, Phoenix and now San Diego. She has raised the money to walk all by herself. Her mother passed away from Breast Cancer over a year ago and so we walked in honor of her too! Love you Shelly! I know you were watching your children walk those 60 miles and were so proud of them.

I made several posters for people who died. Sandra was one of them!

At the end of the day I got to say I did 20 miles without stopping and my team did to! They were so supportive and funny! I laughed most of the time because It kept me from crying when my feet burned to the core!

The experience that day was overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Emotions that I just can't explain. Being part of the opening ceremonies were uplifting and in a sense somewhat spiritual. Meeting other survivors and having them share their stories has help validate how I have felt at times. Sitting down never felt so good.

I had no idea how hard day 2 was going to be.

Day 2: tbc

So Very Thankful

2011-11-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

3 years ago a large needle was placed in my breast and cells were sucked out.

The results Breast Cancer. Surgeon felt that it had not spread to lymph nodes.

Cells sent to pathology during my surgery to remove my breast.

Results= Positive=5 lymph nodes affected. Surgeon was wrong.

Today I am here to say how Truly Thankful I am for my life!

I walked last week 60 hard miles with hard terrain, rain and a sprang ankle.

Worth every step. I never stopped and I had great support from my team and friends who cheered me on the entire time.

So much to say and I will post soon.

But for today I am Thankful.

3day tbc

Packing for the 3 Day

2011-11-06T18:56:00.001-08:00

Not at all a camper.... Never really camped in my whole life! this is going to be interesting.

Been told 2 things you must have. Monkey Butt Power for everything on my body and GLIDE for anything that rubs together.

For each day I have my clothes packed in Ziploc bags so when 5 am comes around I just grab a bag and get ready for the next 20miles!

A Huge Thank You to my friends who have supported me with this! Never could have done it without you. I will keep you all posted with emails and pictures of my 60 mile Journey

Go Maya Go!

2011-11-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

This video is 4 weeks after surgery. She was at Football practice. She stood up and said "I want to walk"

Now 2 weeks later she is:

Walking
Riding her Tricycle
Climbing up the slide
Standing on a chair
Going to the bathroom by herself
Getting down from the bar stool all by herself

No wheel Chair
No walker

Going to Preschool

and

Tells me her leg doesn't hurt "anymore"

Today we met with the Ortho Doctor. He just shook his head. He believes it's a Miracle she has recovered so quickly.

We already scheduled her 2nd surgery in March... ugh...

Greatest feeling to know my little one is doing so well.

Every 3 minutes...

2011-10-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

A woman somewhere... is diagnosed with Breast Cancer

BE AWARE...GET CHECKED...PREVENT...

2011-10-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

3 More Weeks! Nervous! Still Training Hard! Tired! Breaking in my shoes! Any tips? Any positive things to say? I need it right now. I'm sore. My feet are hurting and I keep telling myself..."I Can Do This!"

Giuliana Rancic’s breast cancer: do all women need mammograms before IVF?

2011-10-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

They say breast cancer was probably not caused by her IVF treatments, as research hasn't shown any sort of link between the two.

I'm no doctor but I feel that this is why I got cancer... I did 5 cycles of IVF hard core hormones....

So glad her's was caught early!

WOMEN GET CHECKED!!!!!

Giuliana Rancic’s breast cancer: do all women need mammograms before IVF?

I Made My Goal~ I'm Walking For A Cure!

2011-10-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

To all my friends/family
A HUGE Thank You for wanting to help me walk for a cure.
60 miles 3 days and sleeping in a tent!

I'm Strong enough to do this! Last year I could have never done it. Time really does heal the heart and physical body.

I am incredibly humbled by the friends I have not seen for 20+ years who so willingly wanted to donate. Not just because I had cancer but because they feel this is for a wonderful cause.

This money that was raised will go to help those who need mammography's, MRI, Pet Scans and Eduction/Research. I believe in this!

Again
Thank You
I'm walking because of you all. I know this will be a life changing experience!

Regards,
EC

Maya has PT with her brother

2011-10-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

After 3 weeks post op Maya said she wanted to try the walker, not there yet but at least she wants to try... Strong Willed Little Girl

Knock Out Breast Cancer

2011-10-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

Update on Maya Girl

2011-10-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Ethen helped Maya make a princess crown...

Maya's cousin Logan playing playdough with her...

It will be 2 weeks this Monday that Maya had her 1st surgery on her left hip. I'm happy to say she is off Pain Meds and is tolerating the discomfort amazingly. She is in a wheel chair and sleeps with me because I have to move her a lot to get her comfortable.

We are so blessed at her remarkable recovery. We will meet with the

Orthopedic Doctor this week. I'm hoping for some great feedback. It's not easy but, I feel a little more a peace that we can go through this again in the upcoming months. I have to say that my friends and family have been so good to Maya. They all love her so much and check on us continually. I love you all I will keep you posted soon!

PS... I had 2 friends donate last week! I only need 135.00 so I can walk.... Remember... I had Stage 3b Breast Cancer. I am alive because of the research that has been done and the medical attention I recieved. That is why I am walking 60 miles in 7 weeks blisters and all! Donate Donate Donate PLEASE!!!!

Cluff Family-KTAR Radiothon Interview at Phoenix Children's Hospital

2011-09-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

Day3

2011-09-23T21:55:00.001-07:00

Maya made it to the PCH stroller. She was able to let her leg hang down for several hours. Really a huge milestone. The doctors did not feel this part of recovery would come til 2 weeks post op. She is well. Sore. But such a spit fire! She is not to nice to the doctors poking and checking vitals but I dont blame her. We are truly blessed tonight. We are truly grateful. Life is good after many trials. Love to everyone!

Day 2 at Phoenix Children's Hospital

2011-09-20T22:53:00.001-07:00

Long Night! She had a hard time with moving in bed to get comfortable. Lots of doctors coming in to check on her which kept her sleep broken. She met with the PT today and she tried her hardest to get the courage to move to a wagon and be taken around the 6th floor. Her spirits started to change after she was out of her room. She began to talk more and actually ask me questions. I really believe that their was a part of her today that thought she was going to be in the hospital bed forever. I came into the room from talking with the nurse this morning and found her favorite blanket over her head crying her eyes out. She said she didn't hurt. I think she truly was sad. So tonight Maya was moved out of ICU and is trying to cooperate and take some of her meds orally. Morphine tends to cause other issues and the doctors want her to try and move or sit up and they feel Tylenol will allow her to be a little more alert. Lets just say that is not working.... So for now she is good, I am good and again Thank You friends for all your loving support.

Maya's 1st Day at Phoenix Childrens

2011-09-19T20:57:00.001-07:00

Maya's surgery was a success! Her left hip was repositioned and put in place for it to grow properly and allow the muscle to grow as well! She is a strong one! This will be a long road for her. . She is in quite a bit of pain especially when they move her. Hard to put into words the sadness I have felt. My heart just broke when she begged me to not leave her. Life is such a Challenge... And I have tons of them. But I sure love the friends and family that come to my rescue when I need the support. I will post day 2 tomorrow. Love to you all

Another Trial in My Life

2011-09-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a while ago in my previous post that my little Maya will have several surgeries within the next year. Next Monday she will have her first surgery on her left hip to help repair the hip and muscle that is not growing properly. This is her today getting another xray of her hip before the surgery date...

Sad to say this will be a 3 hour surgery with a long recovery followed by a metal plate to be removed months later.

I thought I could handle my issues that I've experienced but this is killing me more that I ever thought it would. As the days get closer I can hardly process my thoughts.

Today she had her preop. We went over all the things that will take place. She will have a wheelchair delivered Saturday. This will be quite a Journey. Have I mentioned before that I am so tired of Doctors/ Appointments/ Doctors/ Doctors/ Doctors????

One Day at a time...

This is a Hard One!

2011-08-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

(I'm Gonna Love You Through It) click on this

I have a friend...

She was in my life at the time I got the news I had Invasive Breast Cancer...

I was 37 and had 3 little children...

When we had to make a plan to figure out surgery, recovery, chemo treatments, recovery again, my children, my home, my husband and the next 6 months of my life she did it for me...

I got a text the other day from her. She was a little chocked up stating I had to hear this song.
So I went to itunes. Found the song and just had No words... Really! This song is written for all the Women who have experienced Breast Cancer.

For me the lyrics are exactly how I remember my experience.

Love you my friend...

I'm not there yet for the 3Day... Please help me get there! I only need $300.00 Bucks

ONCOLOGIST APPOINTMENT COMPLETED....

2011-08-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a milestone. No oncologist appointment til December! Eeeeeek!!!!

I'm starting to have these appointments with a 4 month break in between! I will follow up with a Mammogram in November. What a relief for me. Life is funny though. I get over my medical issues begin to heal mentally and physically and now have a long Journey ahead with Maya my 4 year old.
Today she accompanied me to the doctor. Best companion to take anywhere! She is an angel... Have I mentioned that before? Because she is...
Next month she will begin her 1 of 4 surgeries on her hips. (more on her to come)

my friends love you and appreciate your donations! Please help me! 300$$$ left then I will be walking in NOVemBer!!!!!

HAD TO HAVE AN MRI BECAUSE...

2011-08-01T18:25:00.001-07:00

RESULTS: NO SIGNS OF CANCER CELLS!
Great News For ME!
I meet with my Oncologist next week to
set up the next tests to be done.

Every 3 months it's either a
Mammogram, Pet Scan, Ultra Sound, MRI....

But without these WONDERFUL tests.... I wouldn't be here!

16 weeks til the 3 day.... (go to my donation page on my blog)I need only 300 bucks to complete my fundraising. Please help so I can concentrate on my training.

xoxo...
E

SURVIVOR

2011-07-20T21:54:00.001-07:00

I WORE MY SURVIVOR (LIVESTONG) SHIRT TODAY FOR MY DOCTOR APPOINTMENT.

MY ENDOCRINOLOGIST...A NEW DOCTOR THAT I'VE BEEN SEEING... LONG STORY SHORT WHEN A PERSON GETS BREAST CANCER MANY OTHER ORGANS CAN BE EFFECTED.

* MY THYROID HAS BEEN. *DUE TO CHEMO AND RADIATION.

THEY ARE KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON ME! SO TODAY WHEN THE DOCTOR WANTED TO MEET WITH ME I WAS WONDERING WHAT NOW!

THE OUTCOME: THYROID MEDICATION IS GOING TO BE INCREASED. MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT ID NEED TO TAKE HOWEVER, THE DOCTOR THINKS MY PAST TREATMENTS HAVE CAUSED MY THYROID TO BE COMPLETELY OUT OF WACK!
2 YEARS LATER AND THIS POISON IS STILL CAUSING ISSUES????CRAZY.

BY WEARING THIS SHIRT TODAY I MET 3 WOMEN WHO ARE SURVIVORS!

BREAST CANCER OCCURS: 1 IN 8 WOMEN! THAT STATIC WAS PROVEN TODAY.

NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO HAVE THIS DISEASE IN COMMON.

THAT'S WHY I'M STILL TRYING TO RAISE MONEY FOR MY 3 DAY... $300.00 LEFT TO GO! PLEASE HELP!

CLICK HERE 3DAY

H A I R

2011-07-01T23:03:00.001-07:00

2 YEARS AGO TO THE DATE JULY 1ST WE WERE PLANNING A TRIP TO GET AWAY FROM ALL LIFE'S STRESS. Ending Chemo, Radiation and beginning Oxygen Therapy
"the 3 hour tank"

I REMEMBER WISHING MY HAIR WOULD HURRY AND GROW~ I CAN REMEMBER THINKING MAYBE BY DECEMBER I'LL HAVE HAIR TO WORK WITH. THE REALITY IS... WHEN YOU LOOSE YOUR HAIR FROM CHEMO IT WILL TAKE APPROXIMATELY 730 DAYS TO GET TO THIS LENGTH!!! BOY THAT'S A LONG TIME...

Training is going... Hot Hot Hot right now in AZ but I'm excited to meet my goal for the 3 dAY... ANY READERS WANT TO DONATE? pLEASE pLEASE pLEASE? CLICK ON THE DONATION ICON AND IT WILL TAKE YOU TO MY SITE.

LOVE TO YOU

XOXO

17 Years...

2011-06-05T21:43:00.001-07:00

I wanted to begin my writing by saying "17 years of full Bliss!" However to be honest it hasn't been. Lots of challenges during these 17 years of marriage. I guess the key to making it 17 years are these challenges, disappointments and heartache and how we have handled it.

Mitch,,, great person, kind person, understanding person and most of all he loves me!

I can remember after one of my surgeries it left me so disfigured that my doctor mentioned I might want to let Mitch dress the womb and clean the drainage. I thought how can I do that? How can I let him fix me! He did... with such calmness and sweetness that I knew I'd get through this living "hell" I was in.

So love to you Mitch/ for being with me for 17...

It's getting Hot...170 Until the Event!

2011-06-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

I swear I'm not obsessed with the 3 Day even though my blog seems to be posting a lot of this lately. However, I just have to say that I truly have amazing FRIENDS... They have come though 100% in my fundraising. I'm not there yet but I'm getting close!

I'm going to continue training at night. The Arizona weather in the evening is still great. But when July hits I'll be hitting the gym.

I've really enjoyed training alone and have had lots of time to reflect on the past 2 years of my life. Having Breast Cancer for some reason never leaves your memory. It's a good time to think, process and reflect my thankfulness that I'm a live

Love to all my dear friends and readers.

EC

186 days Left

2011-05-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

When I raise 2,300 for the 3 Day this is where the funds will go:

Research (for better medications, and genetic links to this disease)

Prevention (Free screenings in Rural areas that do not have local Breast Centers)

Education (for those that are younger than 40 and are more likely to have dense breast= no signs or symptoms)

Complex Imaging to detect early breast cancer (such as an MRI which is just as good sometimes as a Mammography)

THINK ABOUT IT... WHY DO WE WANT OUR DAUGHTERS, GRANDDAUGHTERS TO GO THROUGH THIS IF WE CAN PREVENT IT. Donate if you can.

xoxo

I'm Still There Mom!

2011-05-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day I was spoiled by my sweet children. The letters they wrote and the gifts they made are priceless! They were really aware that it was a Special Day for me and they really tried to make that happen.

After all the issues I've had at least I'm alive to say "I'm Still There Mom"!

Life is special and I need to continue to remember that.

xoxo

IT WILL ALL PAY OFF IN THE END!

2011-05-03T22:46:00.001-07:00

That's what I keep saying to myself! Some day's "I'm just not feeling it" I have to tell myself "it will all pay off in the END". I do feel good. I'm stronger than I've ever been. So it's worth it. With all life's challenges this is one thing I can control and allow me to feel like "I'm really doing something worth while". If anyone is interested our 1st FUNraiser: Team Bras for A Cause is having a HugE Back Yard BBQ dinner. See blog site for more details.

email if interested in attending....

xoxo

Bras For A Cause...

2011-04-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

This is our Team Name for The 3 day. Bras For A Cause ! I have 5 Fabulous friends that are going to begin training with me. I'm doing great on my own. My endurance is getting better each week and I can not begin to tell you about the generous donations that have come in on my behalf. I have a friend who had a garage sale (in the rain) and said it was the most successful one she has ever had! She said that people who didn't even buy anything donated to her Breast Cancer Jar! $600 bucks for my Team!

Our Team created a blog to begin raising money. Our 1st fund raiser will be a huge dinner in Gilbert. The Backyard Mexican is going to cook the most amazing Mexican Food and a portion of the proceeds will be given to: Bras For A Cause. Visit the web site often. I have the link on the side of my blog. We will be posting all our Auctions/Fundraiser/Bake Sales etc. for you to help if you want!

What a Great time to be able to raise money for Breast Cancer. We have wonderful access to Internet, facebook, and Blogs that only make raising money for a CuRe even easier!

xoxo

The Simplest Things

2011-04-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

TODAY I WAS PUTTING ON MY MAKEUP AND THOUGHT TO MYSELF "I'M SO GLAD I HAVE EYEBROWS"! I WAS SO HAPPY! I CAN REMEMBER WHEN I GRIEVED FOR THEM. THEY WERE SUCH A PART OF MY FACE. SIMPLE BUT IMPORTANT TO ME. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW. PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO DONATE TO MY 3DAY I HAVE RECEIVED DONATIONS FROM PEOPLE THAT I HAVEN'T SPOKEN WITH IN YEARS BUT THEY SURE DO LOVE ME!

LOVE TO YOU ALL

Pet Scan + Results

2011-04-01T17:36:00.001-07:00

It all Started Last week with the PET SCAN. Had to be there early in the morning. The day before I had to eat a low carb /high protein/ low sugar diet so my blood sugar would be perfect for the test. Let's just say that was a LONG Sunday for me. I love comfort foods! After the blood sugar levels were checked I was ready for the tech to inject me with Radio Active Die so that the Scan could read my body! I was sitting in the room a bit nervous wondering could I actually have a cancer cell hanging out in my body just waiting to attack me again! So I kept saying... "think positive thoughts" "think positive thoughts"

I was instructed to not talk or move around for 1 hour so I text a little and then took a nap... tech took picture... funny guy

Hello Big Machine with a little hole! Little less than an hour in that capsule!

So this week I arrived at Chandler Hospital. Oncologist office is right next door. At 8:30 I drive in and park for my 8:40 appointment.... Nervous for results

9:00 put into a room

9:25 decided to get off that stupid bed with the paper sheet!

9:42 Decided to read the flip chart on Breast Cancer Risk Factors for the 1,000 time!

9:51 Still waiting...

9:53 Results= CLEAR!

so happy and relieved. what a blessing in my life. what a blessing to have modern technology to detect this. I- am- grateful there are just no other words.

love to you

keep those donations coming I'm almost at 1,000 dollars.

Motovation~

2011-03-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just don't have it. Today was really really really really hard for me to get myself moving. I wish I could see some kind of results Physically! I know that isn't everything because I'm super Healthy and Strong. My endurance is getting better everyday. The 90 degree weather was a little tough though! So I'm going to have to either get up super early (NOT a morning person at all) or Do it at Night which is hard to do with Kids! So I will continue til it hits 100 Degrees

XOXO

thanks for your donations!

Maya gets Tubes!

2011-03-25T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've always heard that if your child gets lots of ear infections that they probably will need tubes. Maya has had only 2 ear infections. However, her preschool tested her hearing and she failed 2 different times. I had noticed that she kept saying "what did you say?" So when they notified me I wasn't real surprised. She first went to the pediatrician and had her ears flushed. Her hearing was retested and she didn't respond real well to the hearing test. She was then referred to the ENT. She had a much more extensive hearing test done.
Results: "Fair" So the doctor made the decision to place tubes in her little ears.

She quietly waited for the doctor and was so calm about the whole thing. I thought when they took her away from me she would freak because she is so attached to my hip!

Good experience... So far so Good. She hasn't asked once..."what did you say?"

Love this sweet angel...

B-E-A-U-TIFUL

2011-03-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm really trying hard to be consistent with my running and walking for the 3 day. It is so hard for me because I sometimes like to find other things to do with my time. However, I decided when I'm out running I will look for things around me that are BEAUTIFUL to me... A good way to keep me going. So this week this is what I found.
Its amazing how many things I could find.

My shadow followed me the whole run around my neighborhood.

On my way back from running I was outside and saw this gecko on my house. I Never use to pay much attention to these little critters but thought wow!! he's a cutie...

I run this 3 mile strip quite often and on my way back thought this view was breathtaking to me. See that mountain in the background? That's called the San Tan Mountains. That's how far I live from this picture... Go Me!

I'm so happy to be healthy enough to take care of myself. Running clears the fogginess in my head (from that Tamoxifen).

Next week the P E T scan.

Results: TBA

xoxo

Please friends think about donating to my 3day Walk in November...I'm at 36% funded. I have some amazing friends...

In 3 Day Training Mode / YouTube Info~

2011-03-11T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to train for the 3 day. Just building my endurance... 20 miles each day is a lot to me! So I decided to get started now.

The weather is incredible in the early evening so I'm taking advantage of it while I can in AZ.

Thank you again to those who have donated in my name. I am very grateful.

I only need...$1800 more!

Also here is an interesting link to getting tested before Cancer finds you!

Being PROACTIVE is what saves lives.

xoxo

11 Donations so far... That's really amazing...

2011-03-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

Within 48 hours of asking my friends and family to help me with the 3 Day Cure I had 11 donations come in. I felt so humbled and grateful to those that wanted to help. I didn't know what to say. These donations have come from the best of friends to friends I haven't seen in 20 years.

xoxo to you all.

to my other friends... Please think about helping me. In some way. Your donation is going to help someone else survive! Remember I'm alive because of Modern Medicine and Research that has been done....

No one else should have to go through this!

I'm Going to Walk 60 miles....November 2011

2011-02-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

Remember this? Remember when I was the 1 in 8 diagnosed with Breast Cancer? Please Help Me! I've decided to give back!

READERS FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO DONATE TO THIS CAUSE SO I CAN WALK 60 Miles FOR A CURE:

I'm a Mother, a Wife and a Breast Cancer Survivor. I was diagnosed with this disease in November 2008 I was 37. Since then I have had 9 surgeries and gone through Chemotherapy and Radiation. Many ups and downs with this experience. I have decided to walk 60 miles in San Diego Ca in November 2011 to raise awareness and help cure this disease.

In order for me to participate I will be asking my friends and family to help me raise
$ 2,300 dollars. I know it sounds like a lot. I was a little nervous about committing to this. However, I feel very strong that I need to give back to this cure. It's because of the current research that has been done now … I am ALIVE. Without my doctors, nurses and the medical profession I really do not know what I would have done. I will begin to ask each of you for your help. I will begin training in March. I will keep you all posted.

If you choose to donate this is where your money could go!

$35 (The cost of patient transportation to a treatment session.)

$60 (Supporting me 3-Day walker for MY 60-mile journey.)

$120 (The cost of a life-saving mammogram.)

$250 (There are 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in America.)

$585 (The average 3-Day walker will walk 585 miles while training.)

$1150 (Get your 3-Day walker halfway to their fundraising goal.)

You can donate ANY amount it doesn't matter! All that matters is that I raise 2300 so I can go!

Go to my donation page or the 3 day icon on my blog

Love you all...

Discovering Strength and Agility...

2011-02-22T20:05:00.001-08:00

I've been working out my arm and back off and on for almost 10 months. Doing my own stretches, taking classes etc. Today when I started stretching and doing sit ups I was amazed how within 1 year Ive gained back most of my strength and agility. It will never be a 100% but I'll take what I have.

If you look closely you can see where they dug the breast tissue so deep that I have a huge sunken in arm pit. I have to say the sensation to clean or shave under there feels so weird I always dread doing that morning chore. (Maya was doctoring on me while I was doing some sit ups see the stethoscope?) I'm able to straighten out my arm completely while laying down without any hesitation or resistance. When they took my back muscle I lost so much strength and flexibility that stretching my arm was impossible. All I have to say is I never thought I'd come this far.
Originally I didn't choose to have Latissimus Dorsi Flap surgery (the latissimus dorsi muscle is the most powerful muscle of the back). Who would? It's invasive and has a long recovery but I really wanted to make it right and feel put together again. This was my only option because of the sever radiation burn. All I have to say is TiMe has healed me. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength and high tolerance for pain to get through it.

I have to push myself to do these exercises though. Push Ups are KiLLeR!

My doctor said If I didn't do Pilate's or some type of exercise I would loose my strength and agility.

When times are tough it does get better I'm proof of it!

xoxo

It's All About L O V E

2011-02-14T20:57:00.001-08:00

This year I made a very special effort to celebrate Valentines with my family. I have very little memory of the last 2 Valentines Day do to treatments and surgeries so I really wanted to make a fun memory for my little ones and Mitch too!

Last week we started making Valentines for classmates and cousins. After school I had lots of treats ready for them and they watched A Charlie Brown Valentine DVD ,

Maya dressed herself this morning. Surprisingly it was PiNK the perfect color for today!

Maya helped me make cookies for the kids and tie their Valentines with ribbon!

Fun Day...Special Day... It's All About Love...

xoxoxo

I use to Think...

2011-02-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

I don’t like to rehash what it was like during my chemo treatments but I remember when I would lay in the guest bedroom with the door shut hoping I could just sleep and not have to "think" but with the all chemicals in my body it caused a lot of insomnia. One day I was lying in bed thinking I should start putting all my Christmas photos that were sent to me (that I saved and put in a drawer) in an album. But at that time I had no will power or desire to do something like that. It's amazing how "time" really heals things. This week I went through all my Christmas photos I've had for YEARS and put them in photo albums. That album is sitting in a room for me to always look at. These photos mean a lot to me. They are the friends and family that took care of me when I was in a dark place for many months. So glad that dark place has lifted.

what a survivor looks like

2011-01-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

When I did the Susan G. Komen Race For A Cure I didn't get a survivor tshirt because they ran out.

A few weeks ago I received the "Survivor" shirt in the mail. Wasn't sure if I'd ever wear it or not because I didn't want to draw a lot of attention to me.(plus it's a little bright!). So the other day when I needed to run to the store I decided to wear the shirt. I put it on and thought...so this is what a Survivor looks like. Was a little proud of myself I have to say.

Love to you all!

My first turned 9-

2011-01-22T22:53:00.000-08:00

It took Mitch and I 8 years to have him...He changed our lives forever. What a blessing it was to finally conceive. After so much heartbreak and sadness he came and turned my life around! All things are possible if you just TRY! I didn't give up even though it did not look promising for us! All I have to say is life is so challenging but I sure learn from these challenges. Love you little boy~

Album: Album 1 - Album slideshow

Kinda inspired by this CD

2011-01-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

I have a friend. A Friend who has taken care of me in ways people will never know. She is the most selfless person I know. For Christmas I got this fabulous CD from her. I only wish she knew how much she has done for me in this last year while I have been recovering physically.

This CD uplifts me, motivates me, inspires me to keep going! I Believe when someone gets Cancer (even if they are in remission) there is always a little reminder of the "what ifs". For some reason these songs make all the "what ifs" alright.

Go HERE if you want to preview some of Mindy Gledhill's songs.

Thank You Friend for Being my Friend

PATIENCE

2011-01-11T11:36:00.000-08:00

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

This year since I had much more hair and felt 1,000 times better I thought we could have Christmas Photos done... This is me taking a rest and trying to be patient...begging the children to please smile, have fun, be happy for our Holiday Pictures)

HAVING CHRISTMAS PICTURES SHOULD BE FUN!

TO BE HONEST IT'S NOT

My kids were just being kids,,,,

THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE WEARING,

WANTED US TO HURRY UP,

SAID IT'S BORING... BLAH BLAH BLAH...

BUT IN THE END IT ALL CAME TOGETHER

BECAUSE MITCH AND I WERE PATIENT I GUESS!

A LEARNED BEHAVIOR FOR ME!

GO HERE FOR A LOOK AT OUR HOLIDAY PHOTOS cant say enough good things about E.B. and her work. She's my dear friend who I just love!

JUST A PHOTO, BUT NOT JUST ANY PHOTO

2011-01-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

I JUST HAD TO POST THIS PICTURE OF ME AND MITCH... WE SURE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER... THIS IS MY PHOTO OF THE WEEK. COULD NOT HAVE LIVED WITHOUT HIM. HAPPY 2011. HERES TO A HEALTHY ONE

S.C.A.R.S.

2010-12-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

before

Today I hopefully had my last and final surgery. This one was to correct the tightness and immobility I have on my back and under my arm. Not to mention the ugly long scar that didn't heal well. I have about 6 SCARS due to several surgeries to remove the cancer and put me back together. I'm in some serious pain tonight. I thought this surgery was no biggie but it hurts

P R E T T Y bad. No worries, I'll be back on my feet soon. (I have to I have 3 kids banging on my door asking me when I'm going get up!)

I have some real issues with all theses SCARS. I won't dwell on them very much but I have to say when a person gets cancer it sure has a lot of baggage that comes with it. Not only mentally but physically. These SCARS are ugly, they do not heal well (due to radiation and immune system) and they are a constant reminder of what you had. I really dislike these SCARS but in a way it has saved my life and allowed me to be symmetrical :)so I guess they are somewhat PrEtTy????

Thank you all for your support,

love,

encouragement,

I really would not be here without you

Love to you

QuIcK OveRvIEw OF HoLiDAy HaPPiNgS

2010-12-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

From November to Now our family has been super busy with Family and Friends. On Christmas Eve my sister and her family got together with us and we had a Fabulous time! The kids were magical! They watched the Santa Tracker on the internet all night. We played games and Ate way to much!

My mother gave all the grandchildren PJ's and here is Maya posing for the picture in hers!

A picture of the tree in our Great room before presents were open.

We made a Gingerbread house and it turned out pretty good.

I made lots of cookies tied them up and delivered them all in one day! So proud of myself to have my CrAzY energy again.

Drake and Logan (my niece) at their schools Jingle Jog. Very cute idea the school does every year.

Okay... This is Ethen (my all star MVP football player) singing in the school Christmas choir. He was a little hesitant to participate but we told him this makes him a very well rounded person to be able to to do several things at his age!

Drake came home from school with a Red Nose but quickly wiped it off!

At Thanksgiving my brother Justin came down with his family from Boise, ID. We took a trip up past Flagstaff (in the snow) to the Polar Express Train Ride. Kids had a great time.

Our whole family came and it was lots of fun. Great memories. Trying to appreciate these times more... Love you Family~

How Did I Do It?????

2010-12-12T20:58:00.001-08:00

Last week I had to meet with my Oncologist. Not a stressful appointment just a check up and to schedule another PET Scan in a month. I can't believe 6 months has almost gone by and I'm due for another one. (Oh insurance don't give me issues!)

I will put that stress aside for another month or so.

However, When I was there I walked by the Oxygen Therapy Office that I used to go to 5 days a week for 6 weeks and started thinking How in the World did I have the will to go into that place for so long!? It's just amazing how when you need to survive and continue to live you will do what you have to do. Today, I feel like their is no way I could relive that experience but I know you do what you have to do when your in that situation.

Overall my health is good. I have another surgery scheduled this month. Fun Fun!! Hoping this is it.... No more under the knife... Cancer sure does cause so many issues doesn't it?

I'll keep you posted.

Love to everyone who loves me!

He is Six~

2010-11-29T19:30:00.001-08:00

I know Ive said this before but this little guy is a pure miracle. I was able to witness his conception through IVF. I saw a little white dot slowly float into my uterine wall and I knew he would come. Only through the power of prayers. I sure believe in the power of prayer. I wouldn't be here to witness his sixth birthday with out them....

2 Whole Years!

2010-11-10T20:04:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about the day I was told I had a HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS TUMOR. I remember thinking not me. I'll just go in and have another (painful) sterotatic biopsy and it will be negative. No Worries... I'm fine... Days later the results were not what I thought and I will never forget the surgeons words.

"Your Life Will Be Put On Hold For A While"

My life has been put on hold and it will never be the same for many reasons. Good and Bad.

I consider myself cancer free for 2 years now. Not from the time I finished Chemo but from the time my breast was removed and the cancer was dug out like a pumpkin! I'm very confident that I beat this cancer thing but I'm also realistic and know that their is always a possibility of it reoccurring. It's been a long road. Hopefully only one more surgery to go and I should be done. Long hold dont you think?

The funny thing is ~I still cant believe it happened.

Our Halloween with the Fam...

2010-11-06T22:07:00.001-07:00

This is me, Cole my nephew (Vampire) Ethen (Werewolf).

Maya the Black kitty cat and Grant my nephew the Dinosaur

Here is my little Drake the Ninja with Cole

Logan my niece and Maya the kitty...

We hung out with my brother Matt and his family this year for Halloween. We had a great time. They are in there new home so the kids were so excited to scope out the new neighborhood and get as much candy as they could. It worked. In my years of Trick or Treating never did I get as much candy as these kids did. Maya and my Nephew Grant got HUGE Giant Size Hersey Bars! Is that normal? Couldn't believe it~! Great times, Its so nice to feel healthy and have the energy to keep up with these kiddos! Loved being with them this year... Great Times.

10-10-10 Race for the Cure

2010-10-12T22:46:00.001-07:00

This year I decided to do the Race with my sister. My family came along for support. It was a blast. I was a little emotional (on a personal note) because 2 years ago I was told I had Breast Cancer and I never thought this Journey would bring me to where I am today.

Seriously can you believe I did a 5K? What an amazing feeling it was.

My sister and I before the Race (Thanks Leslie for getting up so early to do this)

While I was running these cheerleaders asked if they could get a picture with Maya Girl. Too Cute! They loved her! Who wouldn't?

Here is my Guy...

Mitch and I both agree this was a Bitter Sweet Experience. Last year Mitch could not walk from a serious leg injury and I was about to begin my painful reconstruction surgeries and had just finished Radiation/Burn therapy. Memories I don't want to relive BUT at the same time a life learning experience

I am A survivor! Feels good to say that...
(Drake in the corner of the pic)

Mitch my Co-Survivor....I just don't think people realize what the co -SURVIVOR GOES THROUGH.

Mitch is a man of few words but I know this broke him to the core. He is a stronger individual for having this challenge but it will never take away the hurt he had for me.

I love you all

I Love your support

I Love how much you care
PeAcE~

HE WILL PLAY IN PINK

2010-10-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

THIS IS MY 1ST BORN... Ethen. He remembers the most out of all my children what I went through. He also understands what all this pink represents this month. Everywhere we go if we see pink items he always says "mom you should buy that".

Ethen is on a football team that supports the cause too! I was so happy. He even got pink socks and a pink ribbon sticker to put on his helmet. He was so proud of that.

Ethen had just been tackled so hard it knocked the wind out of him...

This is one tough kid! In AZ they start practices in Aug when its 110 degrees (dry heat) but it's still heat~ Goes everyday for 2 weeks and then MWF for 2 hours. He seriously is a natural! Really... football is his love, he plays hard and gets hit hard! I'm proud of him!

Natural athlete~

F A C T

2010-10-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

EVERY 69 SECONDS in this world A WOMEN DIES OF THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE CALLED BREAST CANCER.

Thank you Lord for sparing my life

Thank you to those who work so hard to find a cure and to raise awareness

Next week is the Susan G. Komen for the cure...

I'm going to be there... 10/10/10

THIS TIME LAST YEAR

2010-09-15T15:58:00.001-07:00

1. I had very little hair. (but it was coming in)

2. My chest was caved in with lots of reconstruction surgery ahead of me (didn't think it would even be possible)

3. Had just finished the awful Hyperbarric Therapy which I do not know how I stayed in the tube for 3 hours (lets just say... I saw just about every CSI show there was while in that darn capsule)

4. Depression was lifting (not 100% but I was getting better)

5. Was just trying to heal mentally.

I wish I could say that I feel like it is all behind me, but cancer is still in my thoughts every single day. It just doesn't really go away. I think it's because of the daily medication I have to take and the pain of reconstruction major armpit numbness, and limited range of motion in my arm.
Lovely~

But I also have my life.

I'm a grateful person. Really, I am. In fact, I can’t even put into words how very thankful I am for the breast cancer treatments that have kept me alive.

So thank you doctors who made the treatment decisions/reconstruction surgeries to treat me and keep me alive and now looking healthy and strong.

Love to you all

BabyEinstien's author wrote a cancer book!

2010-09-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Julie Aigner Clark best known as the mom who launched the wildly-popular Baby Einstein dvd's and books.

I had just about every DVD in my house during those early years with kids. “You Are the Best Medicine.” is the newest addition.

Julie (a two-time breast cancer survivor) wrote the book. WOW! what a treasure for parents with cancer who want to explain the disease to their young kids in the most delicate and gentle manner.

I look back now and wonder...how did I explain my stage 3 cancer to my 6,4 and 1 year old? It was difficult and I know Drake was confused many times. Maya only knew me with out hair and Ethen tried to be the one who understood it all but I know inside was always concerned. I think this book is a great way to explain to children what a person is about to go through. I sure had no clue what I was in for.

All I do know is Life gets better... Even though this experience never leaves me...

A Pet Scan Approved By My Insurance!

2010-08-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

When I was 1st diagnosed with Cancer the first concern for the doctors was to get the cancer out! When I meet with my original Oncologist he ordered a Pet Scan. I had no problem with insurance approval. I remember it being sort of a long test but at that time I was so out of it I was just going through the motions. After my chemo was completed my oncologist ordered another Pet Scan and at that point because I was in the "clear" of being cancer free (from the mastectomy & chemo) I was denied. I excepted that and had every other test comparable to the Pet Scan I could. ex. Bone Scan, Muga Scan, CT Scan, MRI, Ultrasound. Now does that make sense? They wont pay for a Pet Scan which is the King of all Cancer tests but I can take 5 other test which probably cost the same if not more! Just outrageous!

After I switched oncologist she fought for me to have this test and didn't give up. I was able to have this test last week and results= CLEAR! things look good all over! fluid build up in the breast area but is believed to be from all the surgeries. We hope to redo this test and compare in 3 months. So for now its all good. What a relief.

The testing room I went into had this sign on the door and I was not allowed to talk during the time this radioactive stuff was injected into my body. So I text a little and read a little... "Eat Pray Love" and by then 1 hour was up and I went into the room for the scan.

So glad I'm not claustrophobic. Such a small hole I stayed in for a lengthy time!

And it was over ... So happy it was done... I'm healing doing well with recovery and trying to enjoy everyday. I haven't had this much peace in a long time. No thoughts about doctors, surgery, lab work etc. Just me time...

A REAL ANGEL FROM HEAVEN...

2010-08-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of the better days of recovery. This surgery set me back a little. I cant seem to understand why except maybe my ribs were involved this time and I was extremely sore because of the added nips and tucks!

Maya begged me to take her swimming. I did not want to at all. I just looked at her and could not say no. So many times before I had to let my time with her go because of no will power/motivation/energy etc... We sat in the pool just the two of us and talked about bugs, sang songs and blew bubbles. After a while I found myself just staring at her and an overwhelming feeling came over me. She was my Angel sent from Heaven. Oh how I love her....

9th surgery done! but boy it sure does hurt!

2010-07-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

See I'm already complaining this one really has put me a little under. Over all I'm fine just very tender to the touch and sore all over.

Dr. Boll is amazing though (my reconstruction surgeon) She has been able to transform something that was destroyed by radiation and infection to something that looks somewhat normal. The reason I'm in so much pain is because she had to sew my implant into my rib cage. I knew that when I woke up this time from surgery it hurt 10XS worse.

(side note: I had been feeling the previous implant shift at times when caring Maya or exercising I just thought that it was normal. It always felt so weird. Did not like the feeling of it at all)

So when Dr. Boll began the surgery she saw when I was laying down the implant moved from side to side and it just didn't stay in place. She says that the implant seems to shift do to damaged radiated tissue. So she sure fixed that one.... Sewing it into my rib cage!

What miracles can be created by such intelligent caring doctors. I'm blessed, I'm blessed, I'm blessed.

I'm going to complain...Then put it in perspective

2010-07-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I do complain a lot about this surgery stuff as well as taking a daily dose of tamoxifen. The surgery seems to be endless yet necessary for me to feel physically normal again... Simple things like putting deodorant under my arm might eventually feel less sore without so much skin bulked underneath...Filling out my bra so that one breast isn't bigger than the other... Plus this tamoxifen has crazy side effects! I now can say I suffer from memory loss and forgetfulness (along with other things)! Not only do I stress out about it but it is a terrible reminder that I had cancer.

So last week I was on my way to see my oncologist. All these things mentioned were on my mind and I had a little attitude! I was sitting in the waiting room just mad I had to be there. As I got called back to the room I saw a board with lots of pictures on it. I said to the nurse "oh are these all the Dr's patients?" She said "yes but lots of them have passed on". Within seconds my attitude instantly changed. I drove home very humbled and emotional. I get to have a choice to have additional surgeries so I can feel and look normal again. I get to have a choice to take tamoxifen to help add years to my life without the chance of cancer coming back. The people who have passed on might not have. With all that said, I know that I'm still here for a reason and I need to keep that in perspective.

FOURTH OF JULY IN SAN DIEGO

2010-07-23T21:58:00.001-07:00

One of our traditions for the past 16 years or so have been to be in San Diego for the 4th. Because I was just to sick last year we didn't make it. This year we decided somehow we would get to the place I love so much! S A N D I E G O....

We walked from our hotel to the pier at Seaport Village. We made it just in time for the amazing display of fireworks.

Maya wasnt a bit scared of the loud noise. She enjoyed hereself so much

What a difference a year makes... I've said it before but seriously mean it,,, Look at us now!

One of my favorite places to go is Old Town San Diego They have lots of places to eat and the best Mexican food ever! The children went into the Candy Kitchen and were speechless! I told them they could get whatever they wanted... Ethen carefully chose each piece, Drake took whatever he could get his hands on and Maya put 2 little pieces in her bag and said she was done~

We headed to Legoland for a day trip with the kids. Overcast skys and for me it was dreamy weather... We loved each moment there with the kids. They were in Heaven.

Maya with Princess Lilly

Lego land has some great hands on activities with billions on Lego's. This is a shot of Drake and Ethen building their Lego cars and racing them against other kids and getting to rebuild until they win!

TONS OF FUN...MAKING UP FOR LOST TIMES...ANOTHER GREAT MEMORY

SURGERY #9

2010-06-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

Last week I was able to see a licensed esthetician and have a little permanent pigmentation done. Basically I see it like a permanent tattoo for the areola! A little more maybe for my readers to know but again this is for me to document and look back at my experiences and help others. With that said it truly is the icing on the cake! It camouflages a lot of the scars and was completely worth the effort of completing me! Now that that's done (one more final touch in a few weeks) I will have Surgery #9 to "debulk" fat from under my arm and transfer to the front where the breast area con caves. This is a 3 hour procedure but again I'm use to this. I'm not worried just ready to complete the process. I could stop now and be done but I feel I might as well complete what my plastic surgeon started and created. So for now that's it on the reconstruction side. Fat grafting and debulking... doesn't that sound fun?

THE SEA OF CORTEZ...A MUCH NEEDED VACATION IN M E X I C O

2010-06-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

A much needed vacation was planned for us! We had the help of some incredible friends that allowed us to hang with them and it will be memories that will last forever. If you had told me last year that I would be with my children and husband on the beach for a week doing next to nothing and feeling great I'd say I don't believe you and that my life will never be back to normal. Well whatever normal is I experienced it. One year later...I will never forget the time with my mother, children, husband and true friends! Here is a sneak peak of our time in Mexico. It's about a 3 hour drive from AZ. The Sea of Cortez is beautiful! Warm water where the kids swim all day, sun shine no clouds, just about every sea creature you can find and sea shells galore! Just fun times and who knew AZ was so conveniently close to a beach!

all of us basking in the sun with SPF50 on!

Beautiful site to see that day...

view from our condo

My little man...

We would buy Mango's on a stick from vendors here is a picture of them on the beach selling fruit and Mexican Popsicles.

My mommy with little Maya and her best friend Ava

our amazing friends who have now got us "hooked" on this place

Drake and Tori enjoying seriously the best ice cream ever!

My friend "E" who I love dearly,,,

Drake and Boston had a great time together...

Ethen and Owen loved catching those crabs!

Owen saved me several times with Maya... She would go to him when I was needing a break!

My mommy went with us! She even enjoyed the sun and fun

An evening walk on the beach with little Maya and daddy

Look at the ripples in the sand this was breathless, I so enjoyed every minute of this

Drake was non stop from morning to night! Couldn't get enough of the beach

Ethen bought this shark tooth neckless from a guy selling these on the beach. He was so excited to have a "real" shark's tooth!

No other words....Pure Bliss

Honoring Mothers Day

2010-05-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

This Mothers Day was a little emotional for me. It began when Ethen came in with this homemade card. If you can zoom up close you can see that he is so happy I'm a survivor! This was not only on his mind but mine as well. Last year was so difficult to even process the next hour let alone be happy and honored on my day as a mother. Ethen, Drake and Maya knew that this mothers day was special for them. I was alive, in my bed waiting for them to bring me a bowl of cereal and homemade cards. I have often been told by my dear friend Erica that my kids are resilient and that they will be stronger children because of this experience and she is so right. Ethen was honoring Mothers day and honoring me as a survivor. For an 8 year old he is so wise. What a blessing...

ANOTHER REMINDER...

2010-05-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

I HAD AN MRI THIS WEEK. NO BIGGIE. HAD ONE SEVERAL DAYS AFTER I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH THIS CANCER THING, BUT FORGOT ABOUT THE TERRIBLE MEMORIES... SAME LOCATION, SAME ROOM, SAME TECHNICIAN, SAME NOISY MACHINE, SAME EVERYTHING FOR A GOOD HOUR. I HAD TO LAY STILL WITH MY CHEST IN HOLES TRYING TO NOT THINK OF "WHAT IF" THEY FIND SOMETHING....

I FEEL GOOD THOUGH, RESULTS HAVENT COME IN. I THINK THESE LITTLE TESTS WILL ALWAYS BE A TERRIBLE REMINDER OF THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER.

THE REALITY IS...

2010-04-25T11:27:00.001-07:00

I'm doing well, when I awoke I felt like I was hit by a truck!

Dr. Boll feels like the surgery was a success! I know that from what It did look like after the sever burn from radiation that she had a lot to fix. As my good friend describes... "another chop job until she gets it perfect". But the reality is it will never be perfect. I know that but subconsciously when I take off the bandages I'm hoping for something that looks normal and it wont ever be! I shouldn't complain. I've got hair, I've got my brain back, my humor, my will to do things but when I undress, shower, and find clothes to cover up the imperfections it will always be a reminder that I had cancer and that's whats sad. So for now I'll recover again, heal and then have another surgery possibly in July. Gotta get it all done before my insurance is tired of me! :)

BUT over all I'm good. I'm use to pain and so 3 days recovering was all I needed. Back to normal with kids, work, and everything else a mom does.

Next thing on the list an MRI... I'm very positive all is well but still nervous of the unknown

Til then, Kisses

Surgery # 8

2010-04-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Crazy to think I've been "under the knife" 8 times since this whole Cancer Journey began. This will be a less painful surgery (I hope). I say that because no back muscle is being removed and moved to the front this time. This is called a "debulking" surgery. She is cutting the extra bulky skin out that was moved to the front from the 1st surgery. It's extra skin I don't need. It's a huge puffy area underneath my arm pit half way to the front of my breast. She is going to "round" it out some. She is also lipoing the fat under there and transferring it to areas that have caved in. (I sure wish my insurance would cover lipo in other areas! )I still describe it like a pumpkin being carved out. As a pumpkin gets old it begins to cave in. This is what has happened to me (GOTTA LOVE WHAT RADIATION DOES TO OUR SKIN). So shes trying to fix it and make it look as close to a boob as it can be. 3 hour surgery not so bad! I will post my recovery soon.

Wish me luck on Thursday!!!

Part 2 Salt Lake City Hanging With My Bro!

2010-04-13T20:37:00.001-07:00

This is the Salt Lake Temple. Amazing site! We spent the day touring the different places on Temple Square. What a spiritual place. I was so inspired by all the history behind my religion that I felt overcome with emotion at times. The children loved meeting the many sister missionaries that were there serving. They were AMAZED at the many Book of Mormons that were written in 100's of languages. The best part of this experience was attending the Families can be forever movie. What a great thing to know that because of my faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ we as a family can be together in the eternity. With having cancer many thoughts of death went through my mind. This made me stronger in what I believe in and that in the end... Family is what really matters.

Mitch and I were definitely exhausted with 3 children in a hotel room for 5 days but it was worth it.

Here are the cousins... Abbi Ethen, Maya and Drake eating at CPK...

We went to the Aquarium in Salt Lake.The kids loved it! Not a huge place but a lot of fun! It was just enough for them to really get an idea of all the critters in the sea! Gotta love my brother Justin... My kids could not get enough of him!

Love this sweet girl Maddie! Justin and Melissa's 5 year old!

We also visited the Dinosaur Museum. Actual dinosaurs that lived in Utah were on display. We learned a lot and saw the coolest 3D movie about these huge things that lived before us! This is Maya and Ethen digging for fossils.

Abbi and Maddie taking a turn digging...

Seriously... This is gross! Justin bought Nacho flavored crickets and worms (dried) to eat in the 3D movie...

Here they are before Justin took a bite!!! Crazy Guy... Mitch looks so enthused

This is Maya and Chloe. They loved each other so much. Chloe could not get enough of Maya and Maya loved every minute of the attention.

And finally my Brother and his wife. We loved being with them. They are way to much fun and love my children like there own. We had a blast and appreciate them meeting us in SLC..

GOOD TIMES JUSTIN GOOD TIMES!

Park City Part 1 of our Trip to UTAH

2010-04-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

Last week we left for Utah to visit the snow and hang out with my brother and his family. A nice little get away before the next surgery...The first 2 days Mitch, Me and the children hit Park City! Amazing little place~ Just a fun experience to visit some REAL snow. MAN was it cold!

The children were so exited they couldn't stop asking questions about where we were going and what we were going to do for 5 days!
First stop after arriving in Utah was the drive to Park City! Because we live in the desert Drake and Maya had not experienced snow! Drake could not wait to have a taste of the snow literally! We left 80 degree weather and 3 hours later we were in 23 degree cold!!!!

All the boys wanted to do was make Snow Angels!!!

The town is just great! It appeared to be a little "dead" maybe because of the economy but it didn't seem to keep us from just taking walks around the town.

The boys walked up to a building pulled a HUGE ice sickle off and began to sword fight! So typical of them.

As you can see my kids really don't have the appropriate clothing for snow! They didn't care... While we were eating lunch the boys just had to hang outside...

Maya even enjoyed the snow...

This is her touching the white stuff for the 1st time in her life!~

Maya's plane ride! She had her own seat! However, she sat on my lap instead.... After Park City we headed back to Salt Lake City and met up with my brother Justin his wife and children. Wonderful time...

Part 2 of the trip is on it's way.

What a wonderful time....

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO VENT!

2010-04-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

OKAY...My husband Mitch is self-employed. We have small business insurance and with that you can imagine what my insurance payments and doctor bills have been for the last 2 years. So now we are up for renewal and can I say... our premium went up 50% because I had cancer!!! This is discrimination! I didn't ask for this! I pay a monthly premium each month not including total out of pocket costs! Now I'm stuck! No insurance will pick me up for 10 years because I was the chosen one to have this disease! I have no choice but to keep my current insurance and pay the price! This is robbery!!!! Not fare!!! I want to CRY!!!!!

Family Get together, Carvel Ice Cream Cake and Remembering the 80's

2010-03-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ABLE TO BLOG ABOUT MY OLDEST BROTHER CLAY... HE LIVES IN VA AND WITH 3 CHILDREN AND BEING CRAZY BUSY WE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SEE EACH OTHER SINCE I GOT SICK WITH CANCER... SO AFTER A MUCH NEEDED VISIT. HE DETOURED FROM A BUSINESS TRIP IN VEGAS TO COME VI ST THE FAMILY.

IT WAS GREAT TIMING BECAUSE WE GOT TO CELEBRATE MY YOUNGER BROTHER MATT'S BIRTHDAY. CARVEL ICE CREAM CAKE! A FAMILY TRADITION. MY BROTHER CLAY USE TO WORK THERE WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND SO HE AND THE CAKES GO WAY BACK. IT WAS SO FUN REMEMBERING THE OLD CARVEL DAYS. CLAY AND I LITERALLY GOT FREAKED OUT WHEN WERE REALIZED HOW LONG AGO IT WAS THAT HE MADE THE OLD CARVEL CAKES AND WHEN WE USE TO GO GET ICE CREAM WHILE HE WAS WORKING. (WE WERE SO PROUD OF THAT) WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

OUR NEWEST ADDITION TO THE FAMILY! HUDSON MILLER!!! An Angel from Heaven!

HE WAS BORN 8 DAYS BEFORE THIS PICTURE. MAYA COULD NOT GET ENOUGH OF HIM. MY POOR MOM! (NOTE: Maya is sucking her thumb with the blanket over her mouth. That's a little habit of hers)

Denise... Matt's wife. Sweet Sweet Sweet person. ALL I CAN SAY IS LOVE HER!!!!

And finally, my oldest brother of the pack! Funnest person you'll ever meet~ Love Hanging with you Clay! Come back soon...

Part 2 of a possible 4 surgeries

2010-03-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

I met with my Plastic Surgeon today. Shes ready to begin tweaking me. I have a lot to fix. I thought about showing what needs to be done and then I decided it might be to much for ya! So I will describe.

When they took my back muscle, skin, tissue and fat their is a major blood vessel attached. This is part of the reason I have so much "puffiness" under my arm all the way to the front. It seriously looks terrible and very hard to hide.

So she will do the surgery in 4 weeks. She said this will probably be the 2ND of 4 surgeries!!! No big deal I have been through a lot worse! So for now I will enjoy my freedom of working out and getting back to normal activities until I'm back to recovering again... I will always say this to myself... Is it really worth all this for breasts!!!!!

My First Born...

2010-03-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

Ethen wrote this letter.

Ethen is one of the sweetest kids! This just proves it even more!

When I went to bed the other night this note was under my pillow. For the life of me I could not think of anything he had done to make us upset. (I wonder if I was ever like that when I was 8! )

Time to Pass it on...

2010-02-23T22:09:00.000-08:00

I knew in time I would somehow be passing on all my memories from last year to someone in need. Sadly I have to say this STUPID Breast CANCER has attacked another person. I don't know this 32 year old girl but somehow I know exactly what she will be experiencing and what she will go through. Why? Why? Why?

So unnecessary! As I began to pack up the wigs, hats, bandannas (that my friend Amy gave me last year) I began to cry. How sad that this cancer will take away her woman hood, her hair, her life, her soul... Even if she takes this Journey head on it will bring her down. That is a fact!!!

I know I sound negative but the reality is there is nothing good from this except you do in time get your life back. She will be able to go to the store and not feel like everyone is looking at her, she will be able to smile and laugh at things, she will have the desire to wear makeup, she will want to be around the ones that love her so much. In time... So tomorrow I will take these things that were given to me and pass it on.

Sorry, So Sorry this has happen to you...

My Boys Are Obsessed!!!

2010-02-20T22:00:00.001-08:00

I have to admit Super Bowl Sunday was a sad day... My Boys Love Love Love the COLTS. Peyton Manning #18 and Reggie Wayne #87 are all they talk about!

So after my nap on Sunday I woke up to this!

All the Jerseys & T shirts they have ever owned were hung all over the room.

Cutest thing I ever saw! But at the end of the evening they quietly started taking all their collectibles down with their hearts broken.... Good Lesson Learned... Can't win them all!

This Time Last Year...

2010-02-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

I had no hair

I had no eyebrows

I lived in constant pain

I had no energy

I had no feelings

I had no connection with my children

I felt like life was moving so slow

My mother and friends had to help me on a daily basis

What a difference a Year can make...

I'm doing much better this week!

2010-01-31T21:19:00.000-08:00

This is my back! It might be a little to much for ya but the REALITY is when you need a new breast this is one way they can make one. As I have said before they took muscle/fat/skin from my back and moved it to the front to make a new one... Not the best but a lot better then what I had... I have a lot of skin/blood flow under my arm which make it quite large in time it MIGHT subside you can see that at the top of the scar.

These last few weeks for me have been a bit challenging. For one thing I'm back to my schedule of driving kids, picking up kids, and the rest of Mommy things. All these things require me to use my right arm/shoulder. I never realized that tying a shoe requires me to use my shoulder blade and back! So I took up a little Yoga at home and have seen such improvement. I can actually reach to scratch the back of my head. I have had serious bed head and wearing lots of headbands.

HOWEVER I'm doing much better this week...

I don't have to take pain pills

I can lay on my back without pain

I can wipe the counters in the kitchen

I can hang up the kids clothes

I can stand for longer then 10 minutes and not feel worn out!!!

Life is good.. I just need to keep reminding myself~

Such Innocence!

2010-01-23T22:37:00.001-08:00

Today Drake saw my long scar on my back and he said to me "Mom is that scar going to help you not get cancer again?" I said yes Drake it is! How innocent he was and so hopeful for me. Oh how my children keep me going!

2009 Christmas Rewind Finally!!!!

2010-01-15T21:20:00.001-08:00

This past Christmas eve we got together with my brother and sisters family. We had a great time with the children and enjoyed the magic in their eyes...My sister in law read the Christmas Story. We had a gift exchange(the kids drew names) and played a few games... Too fun!!!

Me and my sis! Just Love Her So!

Maya opening up her 1st gift. Her Nannie and papa got her a pink bike!

Kids opening up presents I just loved their excitement....

Drake got a New York Yankees backpack!

We took the kids and cousins to see Alvin and the Chipmunks opening night too fun!

Everyone waiting for the movie to start. My brother Matt and his wife Denise met us there which made the night even more enjoyable.

Here are my boys and my nephew Cole making Ginger Bread Huts! I could not for the life of me make them look Magical like they do in pictures!!!!

Maya just wanting me to take a picture of her. She insisted I do!

This past year was beyond challenging. How happy I was to be able to feel healthy this Christmas Season and enjoy every moment...

Drains Drains Go Away!!!

2010-01-08T22:16:00.000-08:00

Update for the week. Went to see the doctor this past Monday. One drain attached to my back where the skin and muscle was taken had no fluid in the drain so they told me to come in that morning and it could be removed. I get to the doctors office and she began to remove the drain and a huge gush began to come out. Apparently I had a clot and so that is why there was no drainage. She began to press on my back to get as much fluid out as she could . Can I say
"painful" she said this will have to be done everyday. So I have had to go back to the doctors office everyday to have this procedure done which is not fun and hurts sooo bad. The other drains are Still IN because I'm still collecting a lot of fluid. I am Beginning to feel a lot of the results where the muscle was removed. I feel like I've been hit with a bat! So for now it's doctor visits with a drain attached to me for a while. I'm trying to take it day by day. It is so hard to keep telling my kids "please don't climb on me I hurt!"

Quick update.. for now... Kisses...

It's All A Blurr....

2010-01-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

When I arrived early that morning I was numb not from the cold but from what was about to happen. In my mind I was thinking is this worth it? Is it meant for me to do this? Will I ever look somewhat the same again? I calmly went into the Pre op room by myself (too early for Mitch to wake the children and get them to a sitter.) So I was by myself. Everyone in Pre op remembered me. I couldn't believe it. I had that much history with the hospital... As my Miracle Doctor walked in my heart began to beat so hard I thought I was going to throw up! She began to write all over me. First in the front and then she turned me to the back where I could feel exactly were she was going to cut... The marker began to run from my shoulder blade to the middle of my back and then it was all a Blurr... Because she is such a perfectionist she actually stopped drawing on my back and began to clean me with alcohol swabs. She said "I think I'm a cm off!" I want it to be perfect so she restarted the drawing. After she completed I laid down. IVs were in and I remember no more...I woke up the next day to this amazing view. Better in person then in the picture. I thought This is a sign. A room with a view! The sun was rising up behind the Superstition Mountains and I was overcome with happiness.

Then I was given these amazing tulip's. My favorite flower. Another feeling of happiness

I was given great news. The skin flap and muscle that was transferred took! I was in ICU for a day in a half to make sure my body wasn't rejecting the transfer. I just did great!

Now... You do not have to read any further if you think the pictures below are offensive or a little graphic. I do this for me and it helps me to remember the good the bad and the ugly.

However, this is the incision that was made on my back. The muscle was cut with fat and tissue. It was then tunneled through to the front breast area and made a "cushion" like mound to fill in the hollow chest wall. The doctor said I had such healthy muscle. I have to say that I trained my back and the muscle called the Latitsismis doiso for about 6 weeks with weights. I was hoping that would help and it paid off! I was told I have to have physical therapy but for now I have almost 70% motion so I think it will all be good! Next step is to wait and see. My breast will take time to "round out" because of the transfer and abundance of blood supply going to the new site. So now it looks just like a huge blob all the way under my arm pit. This will take time. I just have to baby my many incisions (I also had the other breast worked on to "match up" so my chest is pretty sore I have to say.

I do want everyone to know that Lord had a 100% in this. He guided me every step of the way to be able to handle the stress that I felt. The doctor was guided and had the knowledge to do what was best for me. This will not be the end of my surgeries but it is one less which was to me the most major.

Grateful for Life again... Grateful for Friends that Think of Me All The Time! I am so lucky. Lucky in every way.

Surgery Date Set, 2nd Set of Tests Cancer Free!

2009-12-22T22:39:00.001-08:00

I spoke with a nurse today to go over my surgery date for Monday Dec 28th. She asked me if I was excited! I thought for a second yeah, kinda, no not really.... Then she said Oh its more than just and implant surgery thats why it's over 6 hours. I thought don't remind me.... But anyways it's set for 5:30 am for me to arrive. Oh what Fun.... I will keep in touch.... Text me if you want I'd love to hear from any of you..... 602 625-8124 Even if I'm a little High I'll still enjoy texting...

Also, I met with my oncologist Thursday... So far so good! Cancer Free in Breast Area, and Pelvis. I did have to have an ultrasound today to look at the ovaries one more time to get a closer look. Better safe than sorry. So I'm up to my ears in co pays so hopefully I'll get a little break from doctors for a while since all looks good!

Love you guys...

A Good Reminder...From My Mommy

2009-12-21T00:03:00.000-08:00

My mother is the type of person who often keeps her opinions to herself, is a good listener and lets me just vent without giving me lots of advice. However today I began to complain to her a little. I started out by saying to her ~If I hadn't burned from radiation so badly I would not be preparing for this 8 hour surgery to try and fix my boob with my own skin.~If I could have only reacted Normal to radiation like other people do I would have just the basic reconstruction with no extra scars.

She stopped me before I could continue any more and said..." You are alive!!!" "You are alive!" Be thankful for that.

Knowing my scars will be a constant reminder of the cancer I had. And that no matter how much reconstruction I have to put me back together again, I will never look the same. I could not complain or say anything else at that moment...She quickly gave me a good reminder of what's important. I'm alive.....

Back to Doctor Appointments...

2009-12-14T19:36:00.001-08:00

Here I go again! Not Complaining! It's for my own good... I need to continue following up with the doc's so that I can stay cancer free and get this breast issue over with!

Today I had a FULL BODY CAT SCAN... I had to begin drinking 2 24 oz bottles at 7:30 am. It made me feel so sick. I just started remembering how I felt during chemo treatments and I could hardly get threw the day with out crying. The scan took about 30 minutes . I will know the results Thursday.

Tomorrow I go to the Reconstruction Doctor. We will go over the "plan" take the before pictures, go over the incision that will be done on each side of the breast as well as the incision from my back. Huh.. Not Fun..

Then Thursday I will meet with my Oncologist go over my lab work and Cat Scan Results.

Wish Me Luck!

This Time Last Year...

2009-12-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

Today I was thinking about this time last year and what has happened in my life. I was so overcome with emotion because I could not stop thinking about 3 friends who were so selfless and took my children into there home helped me in every way possible while I was beginning my 1st treatment of chemo and still recovering from my mastectomy. I have realized that there is so much good in everything. No matter how terrible my experience was and the sadness that came with it the good prevails! Last year I could not see the good. I just existed and went threw the motions. But this year I see such good and I am so thankful for that.

Well Friends... Love to all of you.

Change In Plans!

2009-11-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

My reconstruction surgery to put the expander back into the radiated breast area was scheduled for December 9th, I wasn't wanting to do this before Christmas but had no choice with Insurance issues and the end of the 2009. On Monday I went in to see my doctor and go over my surgery date, medications, etc.... Dr. Boll came in looked at me and within seconds she said "Change in Plans". Your skin is so tough and tight. There is no way an expander is going to be able to go in." I just didn't heal well and this is the terrible thing about Radiation. Its different for many people but for me I probably had the worse case for skin that can not be worked with.

This means only one thing! SKIN Graft or Reconstruction Using Back Tissue:
When back tissue is used for breast reconstruction, it involves the latissimus Dosi muscle, along with the skin and fat that covers the muscle. This procedure is called a latissimus Dosi (LD) flap. The tissue from my back is removed and moved to the front of my chest, with the arteries and veins still attached. Since most women do not have enough fatty tissue on their back to recreate a breast using only the LD flap I will have an implant put in that same day.

8 hour surgery....6 week recovery...4 day stay in hospital. Lovely! Because of the length of surgery I am happy to say it has been moved to Dec28th right before the New Year so hopefully Ill get it ALL in before the new insurance issues arise in 2010...

So for now this is a quick up date.. More to come later... Hope you all are Happy and Doing Well. I think of you all often.

5 Years Ago Today...

2009-11-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

I had DRAKE!

My sweet boy that I wanted so bad.

I had tired with many failed attempts to have him.

After my 5th InVitro try I saw that embryo float right into my uterus! Kinda detailed but that is exactly what I got to see! With Technology I was able to see him embed into my uterus and hope that he would stay. What a Miracle it was. He has been such a joy to Mitch and I. He is just like Denis the Mince! But everyone who meets him just adores him. We had a party for him Saturday and that was just enough for him! So Grateful to the Lord for my Children that I thought I'd never have...I Love you Drake!

NEW ONCOLOGIST

2009-11-05T19:09:00.001-08:00

I mentioned before that their were several things I felt were not a 100% with me after meeting with my oncologist last month. So I did a lot of sole searching and felt in my heart I needed to follow through with a 2nd opinion about the places seen on my kidney, my tamoxifen I'm taking for 5 dreadful years and several other medications that I'm taking that might be interfering with my med's (for example... my Happy Pill!)

Any ways, I met with a women Oncologist who was referred to me by my dearest friends and oh how grateful I am for this! This Doctor was an angel sent from heaven. She went over everything I have gone through, reviewed my medications, talked about all the side effects Chemo does to a person for years after treatment and what the tamoxifen can do to Pre menopausal women. The answers were pretty much what I thought but what reassurance it was and to have someone really listen to what I was concerned about.

So for now unless I want my ovaries and uterus taken I will have to continue with tamoxifen and deal with the side effects I am experiencing. So sad I have to work out almost 7 days a week just to maintain my weight for now. The weight gain and irritability is the worst. There are other side effects but I just wont discuss!!!!

What a connection I had with this doctor. The funny thing is after talking with her we found out she was from Roanoke VA (where my parents are from) and she grew up and went to school there. I knew there was something eastern about her!

So for now I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Several test to do this month and then I will review results with her in December. The next thing to come is... The beginning of reconstruction. Ugh! Mixed feelings about this. I want to move on but don't want to endure the pain again. I'm tired of looking at a sunken in chest with my arm pit dug out like a pumpkin! So it's time to begin again. I don't mean to complain I know how lucky I am and I'll continue to say that....

Love you all!!!

Halloween Memories.....All the things We did...

2009-10-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

This is a recap of our Halloween activities...I was able to really enjoy them this year.
Here is Sweet Maya....She loved getting dressed up for Halloween 2009

Trying to get a picture of them facing the camera was impossible!

Ethen the Vampire~~ Drake Harry Potter

On Halloween Morning the boys had soccer games... Here is Me and Maya at the games....

Ethen after playing so hard... He was not happy to get a picture. Way to tired.

My boys wanted to spray there hair blue & white for the team colors!

Both boys scored 3 goals!!! Excellent players.

They were so proud of what they did! Carving the Pumpkins was quite a site...

This year we decided to get a head start on carving

pumpkins the week before Halloween. We had so much fun carving them. As I was patiently helping the kids I found myself saying "now remember this time last year you didn't get to do this!" So it helped me keep things in perspective and not be so impatient with them. (Even when the pumpkin mess was about all I could take!!!!) Good Memories, Good Times. So Thankful to the Lord that I am able to witness these memories....Life will never be the same for me. Again my life was spared for these special times. Love you all!

MAUI... My Own Get A Way!

2009-10-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

I got to get away for 4 days with my mom and sister. We stayed at the Ritz in Maui. Just an amazing time to relax, relax, relax. Mitch took care of the kiddos and I was able to let go of all the stress that has come in the last year. My sister had asked me during my chemo treatments if I wanted to get away when I was done with all my treatments. At that time I could hardly comprehend that this day would even come. My mind could not rap around the thoughts that Life would be somewhat normal to do a trip like this. I told her I'd love to go so she arranged the trip. I truly appreciate her arranging this. It was pure Bliss!

View of the restaurant off the ocean.

Me, my sister and my mommy!~~

Wonderful Virgin Pinacolada. Sipping while taking in the constant ocean breeze!!! The water was so clear and warm. I actually got in!

Here is one of views from our room.

My sister and I after arriving at the Ritz. We got these black beaded necklaces after checking into the hotel . The hotel was located at the very end of the Island in Maui. Quite and Secluded. It was just what I needed. I had lots of time to think and was able once again realize how grateful I am for Life! Dispite the many challenges I still have and will have in the future I saw such incredible beauty in everything. What a great time I had with my sister and mom. We enjoyed each other and laughed all the time. Something I needed to do for a long time.

Love~ Love ~Love you guys!

I Did The RACE FOR THE CURE!

2009-10-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

Great Experience! Thousands of people just an amazing site! Cant believe I was able to do this...Within one year after several surgeries, chemo, radiation, 20 hyperbaric treatments here I am! It was pretty emotional.

This is me and Charlene. We are both survivors! We were able to walk together. Our dear friend Monda joined us too!

My 2 nephews and niece before the race. Ethen just had to participate! His sign says in honor of my mommy!

My dad, Brother in law Nick, Sister in law Denise and their children

My sister Leslie and my brother Matthew joined me in the walk

This is me, Ethen and my sweet nephew Cole after walking

Little Drake waiting for me to be finished with the 1 mile walk...He missed me!

Mitch, My Mom, Drake and Maya cheering me on.

I DID IT!!!

I have Desire!

2009-09-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's amazing now that I feel good I have a desire to do things. For example taking pictures!!! For months my desire to do anything was gone. I had very little excitement in anything. This past week I decided to start taking pictures of my family so that I can remember Good Times! It's so nice to feel good!!!

Here is Maya 21/2 not wanting me to get a picture of her... Isn't she so cute?

Ethen didnt want a picture either before soccer practice but he sure is a sweet kid!

My boys at the Cardinals vs. Colts game last week. No we are not fans of the AZ Cardinals! The Boys are in LOVE with Peyton Manning!

Me and Mitch. Love this Guy!

This is Drake. He just had to wear his new Halloween Shirt and begged me to spray his Hair Blue. Months ago I would have said NO I don't feel like it but I actually got into making him a full Mohawk!!!

My Desire is Back...

I love my kids!!!!

My 1st Year Cancerversary!

2009-09-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

This time last year I was given the news.... "You have Cancer!" My life would never be the same again. Not only Physically but Mentally. However, I believe I beat the Beast! I can not express the bitter sweet emotions I have. Would I like to go down this road again? No! But I have to say I feel so blessed in other ways for going through this Journey. Kinda sounds weird I know but I am blessed with LIFE! I wake up in the morning and actually am happy for the day (until my kids wear me out!). I can't express how grateful I am for health and energy. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am.

Who would ever have thought I'd be so healthy to do the RACE FOR THE CURE as a survivor in Phoenix Arizona on October 11th! What A Miracle! I truly Love YOU all....

Tests Results Are In!!!

2009-09-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

What a relief! Met with the oncologist today. All scans came out clean! No sign of CANCER in the bone, breast or surrounding areas where I had my breast removed...I will have followup scans in December. There are 2 small places on my kidneys. The size is not to concerning they just need to watch it and see if it gets any bigger. For now things look good!

I tell ya... Walking into the office today brought back such bad memories! The smell was all I could handle! Their is something about the smell of a chemo room that makes me gag!

Unfortunately I was not able to get the PET Scan because my insurance wont cover the claim. Its so expensive. My Dr feels that all the tests I have had gave him are a clear reading and for now and things seem good. Since I wasn't able to get a PET scan and they did find 2 cysts. I am thinking of going to another Oncologist for a 2Nd opinion. I think I should see if they can fight a little harder for me to have this important test...I'm kinda disappointed that my current oncologist didn't do this for me. He knows the long road I had this past year I would think he would want me to have this test done ....So I am looking into this. Its a risk I don't want to take!

The tamoxifen I take 2x's a day is just going to be a 5 year issue for me. Weight Gain, Depression, You name it! I cant risk not taking it! The other choices I was given did not out weigh these side effects so I just have to live with it!

As each day goes by I find that I'm more and more myself. How happy I am to say this! I look back and wonder how did I get through this? What a challenge I was given. I try everyday to just be happy for feeling good! It's so easy to get caught up in life and for me to be negative about so many things. I pray everyday that my new focus on life will be on just the simple enjoyable things like having energy, appreciating my husband, enjoying every minute I'm with my children .... so for now... I will take somewhat of a break get a 2ND opinion and ENJOY~

Tests, Tests and More Tests!

2009-09-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

Never Ending!

Mammogram: DONE

Xray of the chest: Done

PET SCAN: Insurance Denied! Can you believe that because I have NO SUSPICIOUS Recurrent breast cancer my insurance considers me not eligible for this very important test? Makes no sense!

Ultrasound: Done

CT of the Abdomen and chest: Done

BONE SCAN: Done

Oncologist Appointment next week to discuss

PET SCAN ISSUE

Tamoxifen pill that I do not like!!! Can we say... Menopause!!!!

all other test results.

Results: TBA